I have a daughter of nearly 10 and have been separated from her dad for nearly 3 years. He was emotionally abusive and controlling although a good father to her. He has narcissistic personality disorder. After he left, he almost immediately started a new relationship (actually I'm sure it had started before we split) and he moved in with her a few months later. Six months ago my ex had a new baby with her. He lives about 3 miles away from me at the moment and DD spends 2 weekday nights with him and every other weekend. His life is very chaotic - he has no money because he's never worked, the new baby has serious health/developmental issues and his GF also has a daughter of 12. They all live together in a tiny 2 bed house and DD hates going there. She loves her dad to bits and I try to be amicable for her sake but it's hard because I don't think he's a good man and don't respect him (his own family feel the same).
My ex also has another daughter from an affair he had around the time of DD's birth, so he has 3 kids by 3 different women. I now have a new partner, a really good man who is the love of my life. We plan to live together but this means me relocating to a town an hour away from DD's dad. My parents also live in the new area and it's where I grew up and DD is very close to her grandparents/uncles.
If/when we move, DD would be with me during the week because of school and would see her dad at least every other weekend. I would be happy to consider more than this - 2/3 weekends would be fine. I want to be with DP very much and know he will make a brilliant step-father as he has 3 kids of his own, one a girl DD's age. I also feel that an arrangement like this would give DD more stability; she often complains about having to move from one house to the other during the week. But I know she'll not be happy at not having daddy up the road and I hate having to upset her, albeit hopefully temporarily. I would really welcome your views as to whether I'm doing the right thing.
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want to move an hour away from DD's dad
20 replies
thedarkgoddess · 06/11/2009 11:54
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