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do cafcass/courts favour the parent who is in a relationship rather than a single parent regarding custody?

(19 Posts)
Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Tue 27-Oct-09 19:00:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colditz Tue 27-Oct-09 19:02:05

Nope. they favour the primary carer.

colditz Tue 27-Oct-09 19:02:39

If your children are with you, you are providing a family envirnment!

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Tue 27-Oct-09 19:08:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niceguy2 Tue 27-Oct-09 20:00:32

They favour the status quo and are supposed to make decisions in the best interests of the child(ren), not the parents.

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Tue 27-Oct-09 20:08:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yerblurt Tue 27-Oct-09 20:35:16

CAFCASS don't favour any parent but should make a decision on the best interests of the child as per the welfare checklist...

colditz Tue 27-Oct-09 21:01:58

Your ex is lying.

elastamum Tue 27-Oct-09 23:13:41

He is just trying to bully you. the courts would have no interest in disrupting childrens lives that are working well just to give your ex what he wants

notevenamousie Wed 28-Oct-09 06:50:11

Your ex is lying. All the things you are doing sound wonderful for your dd.

Niceguy2 Wed 28-Oct-09 07:36:41

Much of it depends upon how often they are with their dad and how often the routine has been in place for. If they go say every other weekend then it is VERY unlikely courts will grant him sole residence (aka custody).

If he has them 50-50 with you then chances are he would get a shared residence order (ie. you share custody).

The chances of him getting sole custody from you if you are the primary carer and assuming you are not a drunk who likes to shoot drugs at the weekend whilst beating the kids for sport are very very low.

If he's saying otherwise then either his solicitor is lying, he's deluded or he's bluffing. I suspect the latter.

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Wed 28-Oct-09 08:44:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niceguy2 Wed 28-Oct-09 10:28:52

The watchword is status quo. Given how often he sees your DD I seriously doubt he has a realistic chance of getting primary residence. With a contact schedule like that the best he can realistically hope for is defined contact days.

Your only worry is if he decides to lie his way through court. So its probably a good idea to gather evidence now. Write down everything he says, everytime he calls, has DD overnight etc.

Oh and since he's now living together with his new GF he won't get the same amount of tax credits since they will be judged on both incomes (assuming she works)

So my advice is just let him procastinate and waste his time/money. Smile and just think what a fool he is making of himself.

Biobytes Wed 28-Oct-09 11:35:14

Up until recently exH was never interested in having DS as much as he agreed and it was me doing the leg work. Now I regret it, I have made him look as a responsible father while he is accusing me of being controlling.

If I had not insisted so much in him respecting his time with DS, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on now that he is demanding for DS to spend far more time at his house. He is also claiming that he can provide a family environment that I can't despite of the fact that due to job commitments the care of DS would land in the girlfriend's hands rather than on his...

cestlavielife Wed 28-Oct-09 11:53:35

agree you need to stop doing the leg work for visits. he wants to see her he arranges.
it makes sense tho to have regular set times for contact.

if you were unstable and your daughter was having issues (documented by school/teachers/GP) then he and his new partner could argue they could provide a stable life - then yes courts would go thru welfare checklist and could potentially give residency to him - but from what you say this seems very very unlikely.

"has threatened to kill himself on several occassions including calling 999 several times." if this has been documented then he would need to show he was now stable mental health wise. maybe he is a reformed person with his new P.... but that doesnt mean your child should be uprooted.

mmrred Wed 28-Oct-09 14:40:51

I'm sure there's nothing to worry about in terms of residence, but you might not want to describe his desire to spend time with his DD as wanting to 'play happy families' to the Cafcass Officer.

Biobytes Wed 28-Oct-09 16:17:44

Is Cafcass involved yet? TBH it takes A LOT for them to get into the case. After 3 years of residence disputes, involving father being emotionally abusive to the child, and the constant treat of one leaving the country with the child, the court has asked for CAFCASS opinion, 3 months down the line they have not yet heard of them.

So... I think he is just bluffing but, that doesn't remove the stress and heartache that such request may cause.

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Thu 29-Oct-09 10:25:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Biobytes Thu 29-Oct-09 16:10:28

I started to wonder if your ex was a bigamist... mine also demanded the tax credits as soon as he knew I was getting them and told me that the government would take care of us when I asked about maintenance.... hmm

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