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Have done it. Am now officially a lone parent.

(9 Posts)
alwaysindoubt Sun 25-Oct-09 20:37:23

Feeling very strange.

We told the children. I would rather take my own life than live through that evening again. Have had many major wobbles since. But also, moments of intense relief and happiness. When he gets in one of his moods, I feel so happy thinking that I don't even have to worry about them becaues they are not my problem any more.

Children very sad and I have many regrets. I feel very exposed and weird but, oh, the relief of not being with him any more.

MaggieBruja Sun 25-Oct-09 20:40:34

It's not so bad when you have made the adjustment. The adjustment is hard. I left an arsehole and I found the adjustment hard, so heaven help anybody who for whatever reason loses what was once very good.....

Not sure what evening you're referring to but I had a fair few of them.

Life so much calmer now. Easier, more serene atmos at home! Can find the small pleasures...

Weird though I know. Thinking, of all the people out there I am the statistic...


Leslaki Sun 25-Oct-09 21:04:26

Well done - you'be taken the first step. TRhings will get much easier from now on. be happy and enjoy the rest of your life!! Your Dcs will get through it - they're not alone - an neither are you. Tale care and oh God do I know that sense of relief!!!

alwaysindoubt Mon 26-Oct-09 14:30:46

The evening was the evening we told the children. Their pain was agonising. And when they are upset, I feel upset too. Full of guilt and unhappiness. But no more sleepless nights while he's out with his girlfriend. I haven't needed sleeping pills since the day he left. So he hates the way I dress, cook, clean, talk. I'm not sexy enough. Well, I don't have to be listen any more. It doesn't matter now. He hates my friends, laughs at my family. He can do all that on his own. I feel free.

MaggieBruja Mon 26-Oct-09 16:07:21

Omg, congratulations on losing this millstone around your neck. He sounds horrible. Even if he was cocky enough to think he could do better, telling you that you don't dress, cook, shag to his specification shows a selfishness, immaturity and cruelty that you will be so much better off without.....

loneparent Wed 28-Oct-09 08:40:34

Alwaysindoubt I know just how you feel! When you make a really, really major decision it can be stressful and a relief at the same time. When my wife was dying of cancer I was in denial and I kept telling myself she was getting better. It took my daughter, who was 9, to say to me in the car – “I will have to be the Mummy soon” to make me accept was happening. In that way we were all able to treasure the last couple of weeks we had together rather than me feeling angry all the time.

poshsinglemum Wed 28-Oct-09 12:25:41

Well done you!

Once you come to terms with it you will feel gazillions of times better and you can find someone else miles better. He sounds like an arsehole.

TheDevilsKnickers0nMaHead Wed 28-Oct-09 22:11:57

Well done you!!!!

alwaysindoubt Thu 29-Oct-09 09:33:54

I really am beginning to think that it will be all right. There is a peace in the home that wasn't there before. Yes, there is sadness but there is also a quiet contentment. He had such a love of drama that he was always rousing things. Perhaps I am a bit dull! He thought so.

But I think it will be okay. We see a lot of each othe because of the children and he is happier too. Great relief among the adults. Children less happy. I need to find strategies to help them through this.

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