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dds father never gave her any attention or bought her anything but she still dotes on him, how do i tell her that he has a new girlfriend and has taken her kids on..

(14 Posts)
Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Thu 22-Oct-09 12:42:23

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Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Thu 22-Oct-09 12:44:49

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Niceguy2 Thu 22-Oct-09 15:20:57

It should be his job to do the explaining. Leave him to do his own dirty work. Technically it's not your concern

Ewe Thu 22-Oct-09 15:24:08

I don't think you need to do anything apart from maybe explain that he has a new girlfriend. She will either see him for what he is or she will turn a blind eye, because he is her Dad and that is sometimes what happens.

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Fri 23-Oct-09 10:17:28

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AitchTwoToTangOh Fri 23-Oct-09 10:19:29

what a shitbag he is. am gutted for your dd.

AitchTwoToTangOh Fri 23-Oct-09 10:20:12

actually, sod that. you paid for teh toys, tell him they weren't his to give away and get them back.

ShowOfHands Fri 23-Oct-09 10:23:47

Why isn't he supporting her financially? Not that that's what she needs right now. He gave away her toys?

Your poor, poor dd. This has made me very sad indeed.

giveloveachance Fri 23-Oct-09 10:26:36

how old is your DD?

This does seem so unfair, a child will always try to love a parent even if that parent is mean to them, and so they have such mixed feelings. Niceguy2 said is was technically not your concern - of course it is!!!

You are the one dealing with the emotional fall out, who has to work doubly hard to make up for the disinterested absent parent.

He clearly wont do any explaining, if he thought he was doing something that needed explaining any decent person wouldn't do it in the first place.

Have a chat with Womens aid or even Child line, they will give you ways to explain to your dd why her dad behaves this way. She should not be left to figure it out for herself, as otherwise, she will inevitably she will blame herself.

Biobytes Fri 23-Oct-09 10:37:03

I tend to agree with Niceguy2, it is your concenr, obviously but if he is introducing the new family to her, little by little, not to shock her, you may create the animosity he may be trying to avoid and therefore causing the damage.

I guess that now that he is living with more children around, he may get to realise what he has been missing or not doing with your DD. things may get better, not necesarily worse.

DS' dad was not really inerested in having any quality time with DS, but as soon as the new woman (and child) moved in, he suddenly started doing more child oriented things with him and he got very attached to new step brother.

Unfortunately, things are not going well between his dad and him anymore, but don't loose hope, perhaps the presence of that new family there may be of benefit to your daughter. In DS case is no longer going well, but... it's still better than it was, at least now I know that DS is being fed on time.

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Fri 23-Oct-09 10:37:58

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Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Fri 23-Oct-09 10:41:22

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Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Fri 23-Oct-09 10:42:34

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Trikken Fri 23-Oct-09 10:54:39

Your ex should have talked this through with dd, so you didnt have to tell her. He sounds like a coward. I think its well harsh him giving her toys away. I would phone him away from dd and demand that you get them back, and if they are not in the condition she left them in ask for replacements.

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