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When will it end? **Rant

(7 Posts)
LittleMarshmallow Wed 14-Oct-09 11:01:59

I have had enough. I can't cope anymore with this.
In the last 3 years since I seperated from xh I have had to fight constantly about contact with ds. Since the beginning of this year we have been fighting it out in court as he doesn't believe ds has food allergies and has been ignoring his medical diet and making him sick.

Despite my best efforts to force some sort of co-operation this has never happened, now xh has ds one day a week with over night visits from next week.

We were at the hospital yesterday for ds's rview and the consultant told me that I need to start providing ds's food for his father when he has him as he is still making him sick.

I have had to move house to get away from xh and his family as they were harrasing me costing me thousands in negative equity.

Now I get an email from xh this morning stating that he is having ds overnight tonight and that he is claiming 50% of the divorce costs against me.

As it is I have no money, my legal contribution is just about at zero, my soilcitor landed me a 3k bill last week which legal aid doesn't cover, then the moving house costs and everything else which is going on.

I just can't cope anymore it is just too much. I don't expect anyone to help me just I wish for once life wasn't so difficult.

cestlavielife Wed 14-Oct-09 12:54:16

get the consultant to put that in writing - and tell the consultant to speak to your ds dad!!

if he wants to be dad he needs to listen to professionals...

focus on one issue at a time if you can...

LittleMarshmallow Wed 14-Oct-09 13:46:36

Yeah I am trying, ds dad has spoken to the consultant made no difference.

But I need to be strong although with every knock it is getting harder and harder.

I just wish I could go see my mum and get a hug but she is worried about other things.

lindsaygii Wed 14-Oct-09 17:53:30

Report him to the police.

If he is wilfully ignoring medical advice and making the child eat things that will make him ill, then that might well count as a form of assault in law.

I'm serious. If him and his family won't listen to you, or the doc, maybe he'll listen to a threat of prison from the local cops.

Tell the doc what you're doing and ask for a letter to back you up that the feeding wrong things is damaging.

Take control back!

LittleMarshmallow Thu 15-Oct-09 12:03:51

He was reported to social services, who called me and said there was nothing they could do, but if I wanted to have a discussion with him they would allow me to use their office hmm.

The consultant thinks the best way forward is for me to give him ds's food which will work in the short term but longer I don't really know.

I don't mean to sound so helpless but at times everything just gets too much.

lindsaygii Thu 15-Oct-09 19:53:19

You don't sound at all helpless, and you mustn't think that. You sound put-upon, and as if your ex is making your life a misery through your ds - but not helpless.

And I'm absolutely sure that the doc is making the best suggestion he can for the little one, but I was thinking of you, too.

It really sounds like you need to win a battle somewhere along the line. Maybe this isn't the one, but you can't let this man carry on grinding you down. <shrugs> Try it, but if he doesn't use the food you've packed then come back to us and think again.
Much luck and hugs to you - L.xx.

LittleMarshmallow Fri 16-Oct-09 09:11:35

Yeah thanks lindsaygii I don't providing the food for ds as it will help him but I just find it maddening that the courts want to grant him more access whilst making me do all the donkey work him. However next week is the first time this all happens so shall see how it goes

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