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Are there any other lone parents out there of 3 or more children???

(11 Posts)
confusedaboutmendotcom Mon 05-Oct-09 00:28:13

I was just wandering if there are any other mums going it alone out there with 3 or more children and how you all cope? Do you have any tips for making life easier?

hobbgoblin Mon 05-Oct-09 00:30:24

I'm on my own with 4. The only bit that isn't easier is loneliness. Doing everything my way makes life so much easier on the child rearing front but relationship and companionship wise it's a bit

confusedaboutmendotcom Mon 05-Oct-09 00:58:06

Well I am glad I am not alone. I know what you mean about the doing everything your way making it a lot easier, Just wandered how many of us there are out there as I have 4 also and sometimes feel like I the only one. Its just hard I find when I go out alone with them i.e to the park or shops or park and there all families around. It makes it harder still when you have a mob of you taking up the whole pavement and people forever telling you you have your hands full but itll be worth it in the end I guess...ha ha

Phoenix4725 Mon 05-Oct-09 06:58:58

I to have 4 on my own and my youngest has sn and for me it is the tiredness and the loneliness to and knowing If i don`t do something none else will do it or me.But o the plus side non to hog th bed and moan about crumbs inbed

GypsyMoth Mon 05-Oct-09 13:03:30

i have 5. but its easier now they are getting older and independent. my 2 eldest are teens,so help out alot too.

i find their friends are happy to pitch in with the baby too,always seem to have a house full. i think i'm stricter than other parents,but strangely,other kids seem to like that!!

one boy says he loves the fact my kids have chores to do all week or no pocket money. not sure thats exclusive to lone parents,just a difference i've noticed here.

i mostly worry about the unexpected,i.e a hospital stay,an accident or a majot appliance breaking dowr

jamestkirk Mon 05-Oct-09 22:48:02

i have three - but am a fella so takes me twice as long to do everything so is more like having six hmm - well women reckon we can't multitask

have managed tho - a mix of routine and not taking anything too seriously - just getting on and enjoying it. have had a fairly laid back approach to most of it - kids said i never gave them anything to rebel against so they didnt bother - theyre older now, 2 in uni and 1 at college. has been brilliant tho - wouldnt have missed it

confusedaboutmendotcom Tue 06-Oct-09 14:47:20

Well well done to you all. I think we all deserve a big pat on the back and Jameskirk hats off to you you put a lot of men to shame.

I love tiffany I do the same as you. My older kids 2 have to earn their pocket money. I think its good they get to take responsibility and learn they have to earn it.

Phoenix you truly must be amazing coping on your own with a child with sn as well as the others.

confusedaboutmendotcom Tue 06-Oct-09 14:49:13

Well well done to you all. I think we all deserve a big pat on the back and Jameskirk hats off to you you put a lot of men to shame.

I love tiffany I do the same as you. My older kids 2 have to earn their pocket money. I think its good they get to take responsibility and learn they have to earn it.

Phoenix you truly must be amazing coping on your own with a child with sn as well as the others.

You have all made me feel better now knowing I am not the only one (tearing their hair out) I mean coping alone. (grin)

confusedaboutmendotcom Tue 06-Oct-09 14:49:55

I mean gringrin smile

cestlavielife Tue 06-Oct-09 15:13:12

i have three, the oldest has sn (autism and severe learning difficulties).

it is a lot easier to manage and get organized on my own! yes it is a daily slog, but when things run fine it is fine.

i could not manage with a demanding, controlling and needy adult as well.... when i did so it was literally like having four children. and being controlled by one of them.

fitting in with contact has been difficult as exP has not turned up on time etc etc tho he seems now to have got the message that timing is everything. especially with autistic child.

if i didnt have to worry about exP and him turning up or not; getting abusive texts or not from him etcetc; him moaning and complaining "poor me" by text - the text msgs are on phone to the kids so i have to read them in case they about changing contact times etc - (and spending over the overdraft on a still joint account) then the daily routine would actually be easier. but as younger kids get older and can deal with contact directly, themselves, hopefully it will get a little easier.... or maybe not!

step by step...

i have reduced my work hours slightly which has helped a lot on the day to day.

food shop online, etc etc it all helps.

jamestkirk Tue 06-Oct-09 20:26:43

thanks confused.com - it does all get easier as they get older - and they do appreciate you putting the effort in even if they don't tell you very often. it makes all the difference to how they grow if theyve had someone they can depend on. even when its just all the dull old stuff that we have to do.

and cestlavie - sorry to hear your ex is a pain - one thing ive never had is an interfering ex - she just left me to get on with it - literally contact does settle down eventually - kids adapt quicker than we do at times, tho the more routine there is with your ex the better - and they make their own minds up as they get older anyway - just as long as they know they can depend on one of you.

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