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Can you apply for change to residence agreement if you have not applied for divorce?

(9 Posts)
OrangeFish Sat 03-Oct-09 16:40:06

Just wondering... a separated friend has received a notice from court about changes to residence, but has not heard anything from the court before.

They have not applied for divorce or separation of assets, or nothing, they only had a very informal and changeable agreement on the days the boy spent with each of them.

Can this be possible or there might be a divorce request at court she is not afraid of?

OrangeFish Sat 03-Oct-09 17:45:11

That is to the residence agreement for the child, an agreement that in practice they don't have.

He wants the child 100% of the time.

IS this possible, or has she been "divorced" without her knowledge? (She moved from the marital home to another house a few minutes away)

SolidGoldBrass Sat 03-Oct-09 17:52:30

She needs a good solicitor immediately as her XH has obviously moved things to a legal level without consulting her, she needs someone knowledgable on her side. However, he won't get 100% residence unless there is a very good reason for it (ie she is an alcoholic or abusive to her DS).
Did she leave her XH because he was abusive? Abusive men often launch all kinds of court actions purely as a way of distressing the women who have dared to leave them.

OrangeFish Sat 03-Oct-09 18:03:51

Yes, he is very violent and unfortunately, he is the type that doesn't give empty threats.

Having said that, he is a good father and brilliant with the child. At the moment he has him 4 nights out of 7.

She is talking to a solicitor asap but wanted to know how could the court got involved if, in her book, they were separated but trying to fix it.

SolidGoldBrass Sat 03-Oct-09 19:52:09

Well, if he is a violent abuser then he's not interested in 'trying to fix it' he's interested in punishing her, so she should stop any attempt at negotiating with him and get someone to defend her rights. Is she in the UK? If so put her straight onto Women's Aid and FFS a violent abuser is NOT a good father under any circumstances.

mmrred Sat 03-Oct-09 22:46:42

4 nights out of 7 would qualify him as the primary carer, and it seems he may be seeking to 'legalise' that position with the courts.

I'm not sure what you mean by 100% residence? Is he seeking to deny her any contact at all?

A 'changeable' agreement isn't necessarily in the best interests of the child, so perhaps this formalising of the arrangement will work out for the best in the end.

OrangeFish Mon 05-Oct-09 20:46:32

He wants to stop the mother from seeing the child.

Had a talk to her last night and to be honest, after what she told me, I think the guy is going to have his hand smacked in court for wasting their time. If there is a court involved hmm

Passing to other topics, could anybody tell me names of organisations who protect abused women and their kids?

Bloody hell, this is worst than a Soap Opera, the guy is so violent that despite trying to strangle her last year she has now agreed to go back to him to avoid loosing contact with her child... and unfortunately, she is unable to see that is not a good idea despite being shaking like a leaf when she was telling me about it.

SolidGhoulBrass Mon 05-Oct-09 22:35:27

OF: Are you and she in the UK? If so, get on to Women's Aid immediately, they will help, they are used to wankers like this man.
There are similar organisations in other countries - unless she lives somewhere with an appalling attitude to women's rights, there should be plenty of help for her.

OrangeFish Tue 06-Oct-09 10:03:09

Thank you, I have passed her the details.

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