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DD is a nightmare when she gets back from XP's

(6 Posts)
notevenamousie Sun 13-Sep-09 17:56:26

Always has been a problem. XP won't talk about it, as it's my problem hmm . Now he has moved away so the poor little thing (2.9) has to travel for hours with me to get home on a Sunday. Tonight has been disastrous, refusing to eat, hitting, screaming, destroying things, crying.

How do I help her? How do I cope with it myself? Is it normal?

GypsyMoth Sun 13-Sep-09 19:09:02

He moved away? Let him return her then. Why are you doing it?

Grandhighpoohba Sun 13-Sep-09 20:28:25

Its your problem? hmm No it's DD's problem - she is upset, and as a responsible parent, its his job to discuss with you how to make this better for you.

I think it's normal to a certain extent, DSS's were always more difficult after contact with thier mother, but maybe someone else with a bit more knowledge will come along and advise you on that.

Maybe she is too young for such lengthy travel on a regular basis - can he not travel down to see her?

My experience is that as they got older, it was easier for the boys to manage, we cut them a little slack(only a little)when they came back, gave them some space to adjust etc, but not sure how that would work with such a little one.

Sorry not much more use to you, hopefully someone else will be along soon to give some more practical help.

Grandhighpoohba Sun 13-Sep-09 20:29:18

doh, better for her

terrier141 Mon 14-Sep-09 10:26:07

No advice - just wanted to say my dc's are both a nightmare when they return from their dads - but then he treats them appalingly for the whole time they are there - apparently contact is in their "best interests!"

notevenamousie Mon 14-Sep-09 19:13:44

I am doing it because he won't bring her back otherwise, and that would be heartbreaking. He has a house an hour away but chooses to take her to his girlfreind's. I tried to stand up to him but just got so upset and worn down that I gave in. He thinks that court would make me travel, and so I don't want to waste lots of money that I don't have on a lawyer.

I got cross with dd tonight. I hate myself for it. I find everything such a struggle, and I just wish that things could be easier for her, poor little treasure, with so much going on in her little life.

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