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why is x being such a bastard?

(21 Posts)
mrsmortenharket Thu 10-Sep-09 10:22:19

i can't even get my thoughts together atm to explain what's ahppened sad he's beena complete get again and refusing to pay for dd's ballet so i now have to tell her she can't go in the show that's she's been looking forward to for months and it's all because my lovely neighbour dropped me off sat (it was raining) and i had to pick up dd at meeting point. x now thinks i'm seeing someone - why should i explain to him i'm not?????????? he does this every tim e he thimnk i seeing someone, why can't he or won't he see what he's doing to dd. sad[sadsad

NervousNutty Thu 10-Sep-09 10:30:37

God what a twat sad

My xp is exactly the same and is always thinking I am seeing someone else for the most stupid reasons, like if i have had my hair cut or when he drops the kids off my bed linen is in the washing machine/on the line.

I need him to take dd1 to cheerleading on sunday as I still don't have my car back, but I have no idea if he will actuall turn up to take her because he is being an arse again.

I think in the case of my xp, he just never will put the kids before his own feelings and so will never put them first.

mrsmortenharket Thu 10-Sep-09 10:42:29

chap is nice too smile

your x does sound the same, does your dd know that he should be taking her?

mrsmortenharket Thu 10-Sep-09 10:54:16

have to pick up dd in an hour. how do i tell her???? sadsad[sa]d

hayes Thu 10-Sep-09 11:01:36

Can you not pay for the ballet that way she won't miss out?

mrsmortenharket Thu 10-Sep-09 11:01:45

anyone have nay advice?????? please??

hayes Thu 10-Sep-09 11:13:10

How long have you been apart? It sounds to me like it is relatively recent so feelings still running high. Things will get better with time, you do have to go through a bit of crap to get to that stage though.

If you can't pay for the ballet yourself could you ask your mum or sister to help out? I know the point is that your ex should be paying as this was agreed, but whilst he is in his strop he is unlikely to back down.

I hope you get it sorted out.

mankymummymoo Thu 10-Sep-09 11:14:11

I would ring him and explain how upset DD will be if he doesnt pay and ask him for a very, very good reason why he wont pay for it when he (presumably) has agreed to.

I'd also tell him that he can be the one to tell her she cant go if he wont pay.

Then.... find the money yourself somehow for her to go, can you sell something on ebay?

hayes Thu 10-Sep-09 11:17:04

meant to say what is it to with him if you are seeing anyone anyway? is he seeing anyone?

mamas12 Thu 10-Sep-09 19:23:27

Yes ring him up while dd is there and say he has something to tell her. Why should you tell her. He can get the disapointment for a change. I know you will get the heartbreak but tbh I would keep him on the phone to listen to that too. What about his family members, would they be coming to said show and could they help so that would be spilling the beans about his meanness

mrsmortenharket Sat 12-Sep-09 12:40:57

my mom died 10 years ago, my sister couldn't give a shit we on breadline and she lives the other end of the country, my brother said he would try but couldn't visit bank until saturday (today) oh cos he has to go watch a football amtch at old trafford.

x doesn't turn up to contact centre - again, now 2nd time in a row. his reason? he doesn't think he needs to.angry
i left him 2years ago (almost) because he was an arrogant controlling, deceitful conniving manipulative etc etc etc piece of work. an emotionally and financially abusive 'relationship'.

as for his family, they thought it would be better for dd to stay in relationship where she could see how browbeaten i was getting and the constant arguments where he thought it was ok for her to see her parents constantly arguing because 'it's part of life'. what a useless feckwit. angry

got to ballet today and found out that he only paid 75%, it was lucky i had some change (which, incidentally, was to pay for stuff for tea) otherwise she would have had to miss out. sadsad he knows i can't pay am lp on very little income he is fecking nasty piece of work.

mrsmortenharket Sat 12-Sep-09 12:42:13

i couldn't care less if he was seeing anyone, as long as they were nice to dd that's all i care about.

LuluMaman Sat 12-Sep-09 12:44:07

he's such a knobber, he really is

can you explain to the ballet teacher the circumstances? maybe she could waive some fees or at least let DD do teh show

mrsmortenharket Sat 12-Sep-09 12:46:19

hi lulumaman!!!

they can't becasue then dd wouldn't be insured in case of accident. they paid for this term, after i had to top up am thinking of moving back home - why should i tho until i am good and ready?

mrsmortenharket Sat 12-Sep-09 12:46:50

<<hows you lulu?>>

LuluMaman Sat 12-Sep-09 12:49:17

oh fgs

he is such an ($*(%^&)($

i'm fine thanks! wish i had something a bit more constructive to add

legrandfromage Sun 13-Sep-09 08:19:54

*Mrs Harket* I don't really have anything constructive to offer beyond a solidarity hug because my ex is the same, right down to the not paying for dance lessons. With mine, fiddling about like this is the only bit of control he has left over me.

DD's current dance school lets me pay monthly or in other affordable installments. I had to change dance school, though, because the previous - snootier - one was less flexible. Would you be able to get a similar arrangement? I know it doesn't solve the issue with the ex, though.

mrsmortenharket Mon 14-Sep-09 13:49:05

now jsut had text saying that he has given his name and address to dd's school - he has let me know so i didn't think that he was going behind my back.hmm you told me after the fact.

i still think i might lose the house, tho it's rented i don't hink i will be bale to afford it if he does stop maintenance - which he has done before. have to phone csa to get them to put attachment on his earnings.

mrsmortenharket Mon 14-Sep-09 13:51:15

as for monthly instalments don't think they will let me. i shall have to ask next time. this term's ahve been paid - after i had to top up by fivre which i couldnt' really afford but otherwisde dd couldn't have stayed. even tho he is worknig ft - he has said that he will only pay half.angry how much money - sorry, disposable income dose he think i have??????

mrsmortenharket Mon 14-Sep-09 13:55:11

<<just understood you name lgf!>>

mrsmortenharket Wed 16-Sep-09 14:04:52

why is everything enboldened????

anyone with experience of csa? posted in chat thinking i would get quick answersad

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