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I absolutly, completely and utterly give up

(20 Posts)
NervousNutty Wed 09-Sep-09 23:06:05

I am so sick of this shitty fucking excuse for a life.

curiositykilled Wed 09-Sep-09 23:19:04

I'm sorry if my post has contributed to making you sad. What's really going on to make you so down?

Tortoise Wed 09-Sep-09 23:21:23

Whats wrong Nutty?

curiositykilled Wed 09-Sep-09 23:24:10

I have to go to bed but hope everything feels better in the morning nutty.

NervousNutty Wed 09-Sep-09 23:25:30

Everything, absolutly everything, I just hate it all.

emkana Wed 09-Sep-09 23:26:14

Sorry you feel this way.

Tortoise Wed 09-Sep-09 23:35:24

Just seen the thread you were on.

Best thing is just to try and ignore the letter i think.
You know he was off ill not just missing days for no reason.

And it is hard to afford a holiday in school hols. If companies didn't put prices up so high then kids wouldn't be off in term time.

Hope things look better tomorrow. smile

scroobiuspirate Wed 09-Sep-09 23:38:01

any chance you can go and ask WHY they are sending them out again nut? Just to have your mind put at rest, and to reitterate that your ds has been ILL.

I remember how much you looked forward to that holiday.x

NervousNutty Wed 09-Sep-09 23:38:29

Thanks

I was feeling shitty before the letter tbh and so that just made me feel worse. I am just so sick of feeling like I am doing my best but getting nowhere.

Xp is driving me nuts acting like he still owns me, I still can't decide on a course or find a job, my house is untidy and I get my car back on Monday which is terrifying me.

scroobiuspirate Wed 09-Sep-09 23:39:48

I knew there was underlying stuff soon as i read your op (pirate cat here btw).

Tortoise Wed 09-Sep-09 23:41:58

Ignore Xp!
You will be fine when you get your car back. Take it slow with short drives without DC and get your confidence back. smile

I haven't even got the guts to try driving lessons. Not that i could really afford them if i wanted too!

My house is a mess too! i am going to try and have a good go at it tomorrow. Would get more done if i didn't turn the laptop on lol!

I have to go to bed now.Keep your chin up smile things will get better. smile

NervousNutty Wed 09-Sep-09 23:44:45

smile I always asume that any name with pirate in it is you now.

I just feel like I am getting worse at this single parenting thing, not better.

I think the letter pissed me off so much because where the dc's schooling is concerned I am always aware of what associations people make about single parents and so I make doubly sure now that it's done right, homework done, trips paid for, clean and tidy uniform, attending workshops etc and attendance.

Apart from the holiday (for which i shall obviously go to hell), Dd1 only had 1 day off last year, and Dd2 3 i think.

NervousNutty Wed 09-Sep-09 23:49:27

Thanks Tort, night x

I wish I could ignore xp, infact I wish I never had to see him again, but i'm not that lucky.

Today, he dropped the kids back and commented on the top I had on. He said 'is it new, you had it from ID didn't you'.

This either means that he saw me go into the shop, or (more likely), he was watching me walk down the road when i got off the bus.

Then he made some stupid and lewd comment about suspenders. I was in no mood for him so told him to grow up. He flew off the handle, ranting and raving, and so I told him to get out of my house, to which he replied 'your house, thats a laugh, when did you ever pay anything towards it'.

jamestkirk Thu 10-Sep-09 00:18:02

ignore him he's a tosser - youd think he'd have gotten over you by now

and stop stressing about the car - even my kids drive - and two of them are girls hmm!

as for school - dont know what thats about - but do get what you mean, just keep doing what you can, you got this far, tho its harder on your own i know - they do grow up eventually tho

NervousNutty Thu 10-Sep-09 07:58:28

Unfortunatly I don't think xp will ever get over me, he will always be there in the background watching my every move, making my life a misery.

If giving up was acually an option i'd have done it long ago, but it's not so i'll carry on as I am and I hope I don't crack up.

jamestkirk Thu 10-Sep-09 21:36:19

nutty!

he can't make your life a misery if you dont let him! his opinion of you doesnt matter - he wouldnt dare say such things to other women, just because he's your ex doesnt give him the right to say it to you. so just be glad youre well rid and stop caring about what he thinks.

jamestkirk Fri 11-Sep-09 23:32:19

and!

never mind thoughts of giving up or cracking up - tho i know youre only thinking out loud.

youre on your own with three kids and doing a brilliant job! dont suppose you hear the kids say that - or anyone else for that matter - but believe it. i do know how it can be, have done it myself for years, without a single word of thanks from my ex - which doesnt suprise me - but ive just got on with it whatever happened.

so next time your ex has a winge or a moan, dont give him the satisfaction of taking any notice - just remember - youre doing what he couldnt do, and without his help - tho he should be doing plenty for the kids.

and one day you'll meet the future mr nutty who'll remind you how brilliant you are! - is one of my favourite words - and all this malarky will be just a distant memorysmile

hope the weekend goes well - we're racing tomorrow am so excited!

NervousNutty Sat 12-Sep-09 11:59:29

Lol james, hope the race goes well.

Very up and down again today, feel really lost and confused. Mind you these benefit bashing threads that keep rearing their ugly heads don't help, talk about making someone feel worthless.

jamestkirk Sat 12-Sep-09 19:58:36

benefit bashing threads on here are bollocks - i dont even look at them. is easy to have a go at people over anything if you dont have to face them in real life. just stick a label on them and away you go.

when the kids were young i never had anyone who knoe me say i should have worked and employed a child minder, even tho i did try it a couple of times. so i stop work and claimed benefits, was the only way we could survive. and thats what the system is for, to keep you going while you need it.

and considering theres a couple of million people out of work, it would seem naive to expect all the single parents in the country - many who are unqualified - to find work when qualified and experienced people can't.

so anyway, just keep doing what you are already, the kids are your priority, and theyre a full time job, after that its more down to what youd like to do to prepare for working in the future, that is trying to avoid being stuck in a dead end job when you have to work.

i didnt do that, i dodged around for years doing all sorts of things and never planned a thing - worked out of course but only by chance. even now i work for a single mum doing everything possible - and then some. eventually i'll head off toward surestart or gingerbread - something like that.

once went to twycross zoo - now that really is a brilliant place they have giraffes!! the most amazing creature you can imagine - just makes me grin like a mad thing thinking about them! and elephants and regular animals, but giraffes, could have watched them all day...and you thought you were nutty. anyway, twycross is a charity i think, and theyll take volunteers. if i'd lived 150 miles closer to it, i'd have loved to have worked there, is the sort of place i could happily spend my time.

and although i havent worked with animals as such, since being a sp ive worked in places where ive enjoyed being doing the stuff i like to do. that follows years of industry which i hated, i only did it as it paid well, without realising how miserable it had made me as i lived away from home most of the time. all i kept thinking was i must work, i must earn more, i must work more. done with the best intentions of course, but still went wrong.

so ignore the benefit bashers - i raised three kids and claimed when i had to, now two are at uni and one in college, and i work full time as i really do need to!!

you still have the freedom to choose, train, educate, work, volunteer, whatever. just think of what you enjoy and what you could be good at given the chance. and take it from there when youre ready. the more things you try the more chance youll have of finding whats right. ive had a lot of very different jobs - and i mean a lot.

as for racing - was excellent!! even a smashed radiator didnt stop us - anyone can crash - borrowed another and didnt miss a race. thats it now tho - the car goes up for sale and santa pod beckons with a new one...and maybe back to silverstone - tho thats next year.

hope your tribe bring you as much fun - kids can be brilliant - especially at helping you relive your misspent youth

jamestkirk Thu 01-Oct-09 22:50:06

oi nutty!

expect you nodded off before you finished reading that - hope youre still out there, and enjoying thrashing about in your car again

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