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Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part TWELVE

(1001 Posts)
lou33 Mon 07-Sep-09 17:38:20

starts here

why would you bin off gymboy before asking about it?

he may well just have been checking mail or hiding a profile or something, talk to him before you dump him

belle - have you agreed to remove /hide profiles?

agree with lou he could have been hiding it or just checking email. doesn't mean he's been searching or replying.

you have to ask before you bin on this. time to put it out there that you dont think he should be searching.

or simply ask him.. is your profile "hidden, active or deleted?

think you AF is playing havoc again with your thoughts.

if you haven't actually had a chat about this then you have no grounds to dump him tbh

<says me after my behaviour recently with dumping shock blush>

lou33 Mon 07-Sep-09 19:18:29

am off out for dinner with a friend, so will catch up on this later

ninah Mon 07-Sep-09 19:19:04

yes haven't we been here before? you def need the hidden active deleted convo - may be no need to dump just yet
but my bf got dumped enough times too blush

lou33 Mon 07-Sep-09 19:20:59

oh and as i press post he calls to say he is running a bit late lol

ninah Mon 07-Sep-09 19:33:47

dinner out envy

abouteve Mon 07-Sep-09 19:35:41

Part 12 and I'm still no nearer to finding a fit and interesting man. Any contact I've had from POF has dried up but tbh I wasn't very enthusiastic.

Right I've made a decision. Will keep my profile active but won't reply unless someone really nice messages me.

Also I think I will bow out of our threads because I'm not dating or looking so haven't got much to say. Will lurk though to see how you are all getting along.

Hope all the newly formed relationships continue to thrive.

eve - dont go sad...... you have been on plenty of dates. just being sensible and holding out for a real gem.. and why shouldn't you.

lou33 Mon 07-Sep-09 19:44:53

i've been lucky this past week, lunch thurs fri and dinner tonight

lou33 Mon 07-Sep-09 19:45:18

i insist you dont stop posting eve

abouteve Mon 07-Sep-09 19:47:53

I will still read, don't worry if by some miracle I meet someone will let you know, it just doesn't feel realistic. More chance of being struck by lightening at my age I reckon.

I just feel like giving up on the idea atm. Not feeling sorry for myself or anything just cannot be bothered as I feel so half hearted.

Thanks anyway for asking me to stay. smile

abouteve Mon 07-Sep-09 19:49:08

Lou x post. I will still read about you all. Ok will post now and again you've twisted my arm, just don't expect me to have met anyone. grin

lou33 Mon 07-Sep-09 19:50:29

its like hotel california here, you can check out but you can never leave

abouteve Mon 07-Sep-09 19:55:25

True, I felt a bit teary then sad. DD asked me what was up so I told her and she gave me a hug and told me to get out more.

rofl grin @ adolescent daughter telling you "to get out more"

Janos Mon 07-Sep-09 20:30:43

Please don't go eve! You will be missed.

Understand where you're coming from - not feeling too grand myself right now what with various goings on. And I often feel I don't have anything to say.

Anyway, blah blah blah, please keep posting.

Janos Mon 07-Sep-09 20:31:42

I realise that might sound a bit rude, eve - not meant to. I'm referring to my tendencies to waffle on

thesouthsbelle Mon 07-Sep-09 20:47:56

it's just the not knowing, however we have spoken (after he sent me a suspect text I might add), to which he said he'd show me the texts/emails etc, (my reply was woah hold your horses there I'm honestly not that bothered about who your female friends are, to which he then too offense and said oh ok so you're not bothered about me then - I was like no no not that at all, i'm just not bothered if you have girl mates cos I have boy mates - neglected to tell him about my intimate knowledge of the deejay, but as that's been about 4 weeks since we last met up anyhow it is a sort of cross over)

anyhow as is left we both agreed we didn't want to date anyone else at the mo, so no further forward I don't think but no further behind?? either way he's coming at 9pm. maybe I just need to trust a bit more.

ye It is AF RJ been teary all day - poor bloke, last time it was the full moon - good job he didn't ring me before I did my combat other wise it would have ended in tears as it is now I think we've now agreed not to see anyone else but still not official - does that sound right? (that's what I want btw for now) god who'd date in the 2000's! this bit is so new to me cos with XP he was like right you're my girlfriend lets date. and XH.

Lou ooh dinner out envy

eve you musten leave. seriosuly!

thanks thou girls for talking me around again, must learn to stop being so hot headed.

have a good night lou. x

RJ- see beachbum is ok now isn't he.

notevenamousie Mon 07-Sep-09 20:49:25

eve - you have plenty to add, it doesn't have to be in lists of men you have met, wisdom is highly valued too!

lou - I am always impressed by you!

belle - agree you need to talk not just feel frightened, at this stage.

I am having a horrible time with my ex - he has bullied me into doing almost all the travel to get dd to his girlfreind's as he will not see her anywhere else, I have just been threatened til I give in, which I know is rubbish, but I have not been sleeping and been crying and terrified of all his threats and so I have decided if I give in he might stop doing it and leave me alone. Anyway it leaves me with even less time to myself and less money (travelling 8 hours on a sunday and 4 on a friday at contact weekends costs a lot!) so I am wondering whether the two seemingly nice men I have met and spoken to should just be given a get out now clause...
Otherwise I have two evenings though they have limits on them in some ways next weekend - but I don't know if I have the confidence left for one date let alone two.

And my mum is ill - she is terminally ill, but turned for the worse - I don't think I can cope with any more. At least, not today. At least my daughter is a bright and lovely girl. I am sorry to be a miserable whinger.

mousie you are not a whinger.

i still feel sad at ur situ with dd dad and you running around.

dont worry about seeing your sates again.the decent ones dont mind waiting.

belle - i know what you mean about the "right... we are dating you are my girlfriend, end of story"... i prefer that too tbh.grin... perhaps you need to tell him.... "right.. am i your gf... on the basis we dont see other people but it must stay nice and loose and casual for AGES?"

coz thats what it sounds like your after.. and what it sounds like he's after.

you have both agreed now that your not seeing other people. but i think just from the way your hormonal self can be you have the need to hear it said out loud.

it is allowed you know... its called knowing what you want. men aren't normally scared off by it unless you demand it on the first date. you are several weeks down the line. and hinted at this several times with your convo's to him.... so just bite the bullet lady at 9pm and get this cleared up once and for all.

i fear that otherwise your going to ruin any chance of a relationship by second guessing constantly.... does that make sense?

thesouthsbelle Mon 07-Sep-09 21:14:36

mousie you're not at all, if you can't talk to your online buds huh feel for your ex being a bell end thou. sorry to hear about your mum as well, do you have any respire help at all? is there anything practical any of us can do to help you at all?

RJ - yes I know, it's the whole thing from b4, I push men away and look for reasons then they walk and I think yeah well u were a twat like the rest. must stop the second guessing thou - mostly it's over thinking as well - must get that nose back in that book... all the time things are smooth i'm fine, when it's not I get paranoid stressed & hot headed - ho hum.

does that not make it official thou saying that to him? still not sure on the whole 'will you be my boyfriend thing ' at 27 and a single separated mum! guess I could say well do u fancy being my new guy for a while then?

still not here, lost his keys apparently - but i've only just got out of the bath - see know he'll be late already - i'm betting half 9!

south - even i know that by now your new beau will always be late. he's just a late person. my bro is always late. i tell him to be her half an hr before i need him to baby sit now blush.. he always turns up on time.

up to you if you want to make it official bf/gf but you deffo have to make it exclusive i think if that what you want.. and it obviously is or you wouldn't be having kittens at the idea of him being online.

thesouthsbelle Mon 07-Sep-09 21:22:45

true enough. he's found the keys and is enroute via the shop for 'munchies'

enjoy. will look forward to your update tomorrow.

Janos Mon 07-Sep-09 22:00:40

Just about to go to bed but couldn't not reply when I saw saw your posts mousie.

First and foremost you are NOT a whinger. Right now that's out the way.

Please, please, please get some legal representation to deal with your horrible bullying ex. It is just not ok for him to do this to you. Absolutely not telling you off here for a sec, just coming from the POV of someone who has been in your shoes...(well I'm still wearing them a bit..they've more or less slipped off now. DYKWIM? )

You don't need me to tell you he is still abusing you with this awful behaviour.

And I've just seen the bit about your mum.

Do you have any support locally? Where are you?

Thinking of you here.

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