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I know I will cope but today the thought of being an LP fills me with dread.

(13 Posts)
steaknife Tue 01-Sep-09 06:43:01

Today is the last day living in France.
DH walked out 6 weeks ago, said he didn't love me and couldn't live with me.
At first I thought I could stay here but when he asked for a divorce it became clear it would be to painful and too difficult to stay.

I've been back to the UK for 2 and sorted out a place to live, benefits and even started to sort out furniture and also shipping for all our things here. Now I am just finishing up the packing and tomorrow we fly back to our new life.

My mum has been brilliant through all of this and there is no way I can thank her enough, other than to build a good life for me and DD.

I know that I will manage and the pain will ease.
I know that really it will be easier to just be the two of us with no arguments than the three of us with arguments.

But today it just seems so daunting.

I have been reading the LP threads and it is clear that people work tremendously hard to build good and happy homes for their families and that they are successful in this. I hope that I will be too.

And I know that my situation isn't as bad as some. Just a sad, sad day for me.

lost4words Tue 01-Sep-09 06:59:27

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, it's a bit crap, isn't it?

You WILL get through it and out the other side. Trust me, you will. It will take a bit of time, so just be kind to yourself. You will do the best you can, you already are doing the best you can.

Overmydeadbody Tue 01-Sep-09 07:07:47

It's ok to be sad and to mourn the loss of what you thought you had and has now been taken away from you. Mourning is important, it helps you move on.

Try to think of today as the begining of a new adventure, who knows what things lay out there ahaid, in your new life! As a lone parent you will have so much opportunity to mebark on new things, re-discover old hobbies and re-ignite old fires.

Try to stay positive, it will help you and give you more strength. Sadness that goes on too long just zaps all your energy from you.

steaknife Tue 01-Sep-09 07:08:13

Yes it is a bit crap, that is exactly how I feel. Along with angry, upset, frustrated, let down and heartbroken and a bit of a drama queen today.

steaknife Tue 01-Sep-09 07:12:13

I think it will be easier when we are away from here. DD and making our new home nice will keep me too busy for moping around.

soupsmum Tue 01-Sep-09 07:36:18

Hi steaknife!
Mop around your entitled to, It wasnt you who gave up on your marriage it was your DH. Time is a great healer and let it take its course, i second what Overmydeadbody said new beginings and that. I also think that comming back to the UK is the better choice. And in time you will have a lovely new life and home here withh your DD and family around you. As for today its the last day in France wash away the anger, frustration and heatbroken with a fine bottle of white and be that drama queen.
Good luck for the times ahead. smile

notevenamousie Tue 01-Sep-09 09:14:34

You are not a drama queen. The stuff you describe is very hard, and lone parenting is not easy, and moving home is not easy let alone countries.

I think you are already one of those people you mention - who IS working so hard for herself and her family (because you and your dd are exactly that).

I hope the move goes well. I hope you feel welcome on this bit of mumsnet to talk and vent and, in time I hope, smile.

sparkybint Tue 01-Sep-09 17:51:36

If you did love DH, I hope you're not heart-broken. Why did he leave, how old is DD? I think you've done brilliantly to have organised relocation/new life so quickly. That alone tells me that you're going to be fine. We do get over these setbacks, I did and am now happy and content in my new life as a single parent (DD is 9).

As long as you have friends, someone to talk to and a positive outlook (which you seem to have in spades), you'll come through this a happier, stonger woman. All the best.

steaknife Tue 01-Sep-09 18:16:02

Sparky to answer your questions - DD was 1 on Sunday. DH left because he said he couldn't live with me anymore - I've had pretty bad mood swings since DD was born. We also have differing opinions on how to raise DD.
We arrived in France at the beginning of December, having lost our business in Gran Canaria in the recession.
Before coming here it felt like me and DH together facing Spain, since coming here it has felt like me facing DH and all of France.

Not great. Of course he has had a difficult time too, what with feeling responsible for a family but losing the business and having to take a job he doesn't really enjoy, staying with his folks for several months and so on and so on.

So pretty tough all round and we lost our way. We were having counseling but it was irregular and I think DH didn't really think it could help so it didn't.

There is of course lots more to both sides of the story, but it is done now and I have to think of the future.

I am heartbroken in the sense that it is all too much to comprehend some days and because I didn't see it coming, I really believed we could sort it out and I thought that was what he wanted too. But I enjoyed life before him so I will enjoy life after him too.

Packing all done, just the flight bags to sort out as they are bursting at the seams. blush

And I treated myself to profiteroles and a half bottle of Chablis for after supper.

mummytowillow Tue 01-Sep-09 20:50:20

Hey Steaknife

I'm so sorry your going through this, been there myself, but believe me you will come out the other side, might take time, but you will be OK smile

Lots of luck to you both xxxxx

elastamum Tue 01-Sep-09 23:17:47

hi Steaknife,

I was where you are a year ago. My H left us just after we had moved, in an area we knew no one and me with no job. just take it one day at a time, its hard but it gets easier and you will get through this and build a great new life for you and your little one. A year on and i have a job, the kids are fine and we have built ourselves a new life

Wishing you love and happiness xx

steaknife Fri 04-Sep-09 06:40:26

Hi. Just popping on to say thank you for all the kind words and wishes. After ten hours of travelling we arrived home to our little house. Mum had done a brilliant job of getting furniture in and making the place look nice. Still lots to do and but bumped into an old friend and her baby and swapped numbers so some nice things happening already. Just shattered as neither dd or i sleeping well. Oh and who ordered all the rain?

lucy1001 Fri 04-Sep-09 06:56:14


Just wanted to say I have been through something similar not that long ago.
Sometimes I do have days were its tough but you do get through it and the bad days get a lot less.
I hope you both managed to get some sleep

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