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Ds1 doesnt want to come home after visiting dad

(4 Posts)
BeauticianNotMagician Fri 28-Aug-09 19:18:33

Hi I would just like to vent my stresses really.Im having a tough time lately and have recently been advised by my doctor to see a counsellor.

I recently had a contact order put into place as have had many problems with xp.Our eldest son has communication and social skills delay which has been being assessed for two years and i am finally hoping for some kind of diagnosis next week.Anyway whenever i collect ds1 from xp he screams and says he wants to stay with his dad.It is taking me forever to walk him home(i dont drive)as i just cant calm him down.Ds2 is fine though.

Im really worried that its me.Im not being the best parent i can be i know that thats why i went to the doctors.I feel myself really resenting my children and i know thats wrong but i just cant help it lately I feel so guilty for feeling like this.Am i a terrible mother.

makemineaginandtonic Fri 28-Aug-09 20:22:33

I have none of your stresses and still resent my children half the time! I also have sought help from my GP who is totally useless. You did the right thing to seek help though so good luck with that and don't give up on it. Children are really good at picking up on whether you are happy. My mum said to me just be a happy mum, easier said than done, but I reckon that's all kids want, they don't care whether you're doing it right. Good luck

mmrred Fri 28-Aug-09 20:37:09

Often kids pick up on the stresses of handover time and act up. Could a neutral party/family member do it for you for a little while?

It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to spend time with you, he's just enjoying time with Dad. Is he the same when you have to leave a theme park or something like that?

If the court order is relatively new, what was the contact like before? Was it less organised? Were there gaps in contact? He could be reacting to the uncertainty.

Get yourself to a counsellor, mine was brilliant.

BeauticianNotMagician Fri 28-Aug-09 22:04:12

Thank you for your replies.Before the contact order ex would just come over to mine and refused to ever take the children anywhere.

Sorry to hear you didnt get help with gp makemineaginandtonic.How do you feel now then can you not see another gp.

mmrred i hope my counsellor is good.My mum pushed me away as a child and we have never been very close i just dont want to have that kind of relationship with my children.I need to deal with my issues with ex as it was an abusive relationship and i still feel like he has control over me.
Yes ds1 is very grumpy when a day out comes to an end as well.

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