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recently seperated, my daughter (8) keeps being sick and won't sleep - help!

(5 Posts)
wishinghoping Wed 26-Aug-09 14:55:48

I'm at my witts end, recently seperated and my dd is'nt coping well. Bedtime is the worst, she complains of tummy ache, is sometimes sick and does'nt sleep well. I've resorted to getting dh to come round to help settle her. But i really need some practical help/advice as i can't keep getting him round.

please help.

cestlavielife Wed 26-Aug-09 15:11:47

will she talk to you? or to someone else? a teacher? ask her to draw picures or role play with dolls to see what she is thinking? have you picked up andy books or leaflets on separation aimed at kids?

go to GP and ask for referral to family therapist - tho this might take some time to come thru.

having ex come round wont help her deal with it...

wishinghoping Wed 26-Aug-09 15:21:53

we talk about it, and she's spoke to her dad. Checked out some websites etc and hoping return to school in 2 weeks will help. She says she just misses her dad, and i understand that, during the day she's fine or appears to be, i'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing letting dad ring on the days he doesn't see her, or if sleeping with me is just making more problems?

thanks

Superduperloopthelooper Wed 26-Aug-09 22:29:15

Maybe let her sleep with you - if she is insecure she might benefit from the reassurance. I don't think that you will necessarily store up more problems, as she'll probably decide that she doesn't need to when she is feeling more settled.

It's obviously early days for all of you and she needs to know that you and her dad will still be there for her, and that will happen naturally if you and her dad continue to confirm this. Maybe she could ring her dad to say goodnight then hop into your bed, then ring him to say good morning?

Fwiw, my ds was settled in his own room and then started school and began reappearing in my room at 3am! He is still doing it (happily goes to bed in his own room) and he starts yr1 next week. I figure that it is something that gives him comfort, and he won't want to do it forever (I hope!).

Oh, also, I have a friend who's dc has struggled to accept her dad leaving and she has bought her a comfort cushion for her to hug / hit as she feels she needs to. Could your dd have something of her dad's to look after or a jumper or top with his aftershave etc on it to hug in bed? I'd be tempted to do whatever gets you all through this stage tbh...

If you become anymore concerned could you chat with a health visitor or gp for some advice?

Good luck smile

Lilfroggi1 Tue 03-Nov-15 00:01:50

Hi I have come across this post and I was wondering how your daughter is coping now and how long it took her to settle down my husband has just left my daughter is doing OK a bit quieter than usual and won't talk much about it and has tummy aches occasionally and is having outbursts of anger at least once a day and doing little naughty things like drawing on the wall nothing major

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