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Went out last night for the first time in about 5 years

(12 Posts)
FlightHattendant Sun 23-Aug-09 07:33:39

So I said yes to a party were allowed, so took ds and ds. Thankfully there was another mum from school, apart from the one having the party, and I knew her enough to exchange a few brief words but that was it because she had a friend there and they both were chatting all night outside.

I didn't know anyone else. Very loud music, really dodgy DJ, children everywhere which was Ok. I just ended up dancing mainly, on my own surrounded by a few of the kids...we had fun I suppose, but nobody spoke to me and I spoke to no one. It was mainly family of the (very nice) woman from school, but I didn't fit in at all, didn't know what to say, felt a bit out of place.

Ds1 quite enjoyed it though he got very tired and we went at about 9.45 (started 7.30 - 12) and the woman whose party it was didn't look impressed. Even though we hadn't even spoken really and other people with kids were either sending their DH off to sit in the lounge and read them stories (or the hotel brochure) or I think a couple must have left.

I feel rubbish this morning. Worried about it for weeks, got dressed up, and it was such a nothing feeling afterwards. I just don't know how I was supposed to act - whether I was rude to leave - what was the point of it all.

It felt like being 9 years old again at my first disco. In actually every way!

But I'm glad we came home when we did as so knackered today.
Has anyone else felt like this?

piscesmoon Sun 23-Aug-09 09:33:26

You were bound to after 5 yrs-don't worry about it, or about what others think. It is very difficult. You have done it once, now and can do it again. Good luck.Just go to these things and enjoy or not enjoy and leave-don't over analyse.

piscesmoon Sun 23-Aug-09 09:36:14

sorry, comma in wrong place!

bigchris Sun 23-Aug-09 09:40:22

I think that despite feeling nervous it was totally fab that you went
and with kids perfectly reasonable to leave at 9.45pm!

lowrib Sun 23-Aug-09 09:41:43

Well, it sounds like it wasn't a particularly good party, or friendly bunch of people - or gracious host!

Well done for getting out there, it sounds like you did nothing wrong, it was just a bit of a rubbish party really, which is a shame.

FlightHattendant Sun 23-Aug-09 11:09:20

Thanks...thought I was going to get flamed, or ignored, or a mixture of the two! smile

I think it was a bit rubbish really. But the overriding feeling is just loneliness - I figured out that i feel lonelier today than I have in a long time of NOT going out. Maybe somehting about everyone having a DH, or just being the odd one out...I don't know. The one person I knew best there is someone who never really seems to like me anyway - our convos are about school fairs and organising playdates that never happen.

I am starting to think I don't really get on with, you know, actual people...still, finally wore my posh frock, for probably the first and last time! smile

lowrib Sun 23-Aug-09 12:51:41

You sound clever, witty, insightful and nice I reckon. I doubt very much that you don't get on with real people!

I suspect you've had a run of bad luck, not meeting people you click with and are simply suffering from a lack of opportunity to meet people. Loneliness is no joke though.

I have just deleted a load of suggestions on meeting people as I realise you haven't actually asked for this but if you want I have lots of ideas smile

FlightHattendant Sun 23-Aug-09 12:56:21

Thanks Lowri for that, undeserved though I'm sure!!

I was beginning to miss the school playground chatter, actually, then last night it reminded me why I hate it! There are lots of people - some really nice, some not so - the few I get on with probably wouldn't go to a party like that, in fact I'm not sure why I did. I wasn't sure what it'd be like.

The children enjoyed it anyway.
I'll know next time and politely decline smile

ninah Sun 23-Aug-09 13:33:46

reminds me of my first time out in ages, went to local pub, was SOOO excited
there was me. two old farmers, and a man being held up by a labrador.
your party sounds a blast by comparison!

FlightHattendant Sun 23-Aug-09 13:42:59


Oh dear!!! Thanks for making me laugh.

piscesmoon Sun 23-Aug-09 14:17:36

I would just accept invitation and go along without expectations. If you don't like it you can always leave (if it was adult only I always made the babysitter the excuse, as in the babysitter needs to go early, or the babysitter has a problem-the babysitters would have been amazed!)You might enjoy it-or it might give you a funny story for later!!

FlightHattendant Sun 23-Aug-09 15:55:56

Thankyou...that is a good plan. I prob won't take the children next time!!

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