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Is it normal to feel guilty about desperately wanting a break???

(6 Posts)
notevenamousie Mon 17-Aug-09 12:54:30

I have a 2 .8 year old dd who sees her father intermittently - sometimes often, but today she has gone after not seeing him for 7 weeks. He has been on holiday abroad with his GF whilst his GF's DS was on holiday with his dad.

So the last 7 weeks - full time work which finished 2 weeks age, I have 2 weeks til I start my new job, saved carefully to be able to cope with this gap, minimal help or support and no breaks from my (lovely) DD in the mean time. We are doing ok, I think, she seems bright and happy and I hope she will have fun with her dad, and be carefree, and contented and well looked after.

But I am SOOO tired and I need a break... She's been gone an hour and I miss her already. It's so confusing. I wish I could have a regular evening off or something, but I can't, obviously I have to do the best for my girl and the best for my girl's relationship with her dad... but I seem to have lost myself. Is that normal and ok? I am so confused.

nymphadora Mon 17-Aug-09 16:44:14

It's normal to feel guilty but if she is happy to go and dad is going to look after her you don't need to! You need a break that's normal too!

ninah Mon 17-Aug-09 18:21:37

I would say that is totally normal, and also that you are doing completely the right thing

MrsH2B Fri 21-Aug-09 22:30:37

It is totally normal to want a break and totally normal to feel guilty about wanting it!

My dd doesn't see her dad. I work part time and have looked after my nephews on my days off for 3 years. It's been tough being totally on my own 7 days a week.

My dd starts school in a few weeks and it will be the first time in nearly 5 years I will have time to myself! I think I will be an emotional wreck and feel like I have a piece of me missing, but at the same time I'm looking forward to a well earned rest.

You are definitely doing right by your dd. Keep it up and enjoy your free time. If you are more relaxed because of it, it can only be a good thing for your dd.

notevenamousie Mon 24-Aug-09 19:12:12

Thank you - sorry I didn't say before.

I just collapsed, could hardly do anything for the whole 3 days. But I think it has probably been a well needed sleep and rest. Am 'glad' - obviously it's a very mixed blessing - that others have been through this too.

MrsH2B - I don't know how you have done it - I hope you get to enjoying some free time.

Nothernbird Mon 24-Aug-09 19:58:57

I can't complain, as my DCs see their dad every other weekend, and once during the week, unless he's swanning off on holiday, which he does with disturbing regulatory (4 holidays so far this year - no 5 approaching! Where does he get his money?!), but working 4 days a week, doing the nursery run, commute, housework etc etc leaves me shattered by my 'weekend off'. I feel bad about not doing much with my time off, but I think if I was still in a couple, at least some of the day to day pressure would be taken off.

I agree with Mrs H2B - completely normal. It's true what they say about the moment your child is born, you carry around guilt for the rest of your life (but would you have it any other way?)

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