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is my ex (ds's 'dad') allowed to give up his parental rights?

(10 Posts)
juicychops Tue 11-Aug-09 13:27:44

im purely just asking for reference.

ds's dad hasn't seen ds for 3 1/2 years, owes lots in csa which doesn't look likely he will ever pay, and i dont think he has any intension of ever getting in contact with ds in the near future.

he will quite happily walk straight past us on the walk way without acknowledging either one of us. ds doesn't even recognise him so that doesn't bother him

his dad is an awful horrible man and for personal reasons hate him. i also hate him for how he has treated ds for the short time he was involved in his life and also the last 3 1/2 years that he hasn't.

is there a legal way i can offer him the chance to give up all parental responsibility? i dont know how he would reply to this, but there is a good chance that if it meant he didn't have the csa on his case anymore he would actually do it.

i know ds will want to know about his dad one day, but i dont want the risk of ex trying to walk back in ds's life later on as i know it will cause him all sorts of problems. i dont want ds to have anything to do with him

what do you think of this??

surely if he would be willing to give up parental responsibility then he isn't worth keeping in the background anyway?

bethoo Tue 11-Aug-09 13:32:38

good luck, i think a visit to CAB can help as i had similar situation but i never chased for maintenance so exp has never made any effort to see his children. i think you have to go through court to have his name removed from birth cert but very difficult as have to have one hell of a reason to revoke his rights. he seems not to be using his rights and responsibilities anyway, perhaps the best thing to do is just leave it at that?
and you may be flamed too, just a warning, no offence.

Tamarto Tue 11-Aug-09 13:37:56

'but i dont want the risk of ex trying to walk back in ds's life later on as i know it will cause him all sorts of problems'

There isn't a lot you can do to stop this, even if he gave up his parental rights. Some men don't have PR for their children, children who were born before 2003 iirr and the parents weren't married for example, the mums can still claim CSA.

DollyPS Tue 11-Aug-09 13:48:59

If he isnt stepping up to the plate the now hen I wouldnt worry too much about it as your child 3 and a bit he has PR automatically anyways. No court in the land will take it off well none that I know off.

Some dads dont even know this by the way some do and use it to be evil gits to their ex partners which isnt fair for them of course.

If in the future he wants contact take it through court do not allow unsupervised contact in the meanwhile whilst you are sorting it out. If he is for real he will agree to anything you say.

You cant decide for your son if and when his father wants to see him or the reverse as this will build up resentment in the future for you both.

Leave it the now until your son asks about him and do it nicely about daddy even if he is the spawn of satan hen

oldraver Tue 11-Aug-09 21:24:56

To be honest I wouldn't bother with all the stress of tying to get him to give up PR ( I'm assuming as you ask he does have PR ?). As anotehr poster said even if he gave it up he could waltz back into his life in the future

He could cause problems with certain things if he wanted to be awkward but I dont think there is alot you can do about that

Dolly PR is NOT automatic these days

Niceguy2 Wed 12-Aug-09 14:36:28

Hi Juicy

I believe the only way he can "give up" his PR and not have CSA chase him is if DS is adopted. So for example if your new partner/husband adopted him then his legal status to being DS's father would completely cease.

Tamarto Wed 12-Aug-09 15:19:37

It is in Scotland if the father signs the BC? Is that not the case in England?

oldraver Wed 12-Aug-09 23:43:34

Yes that is the case in England too.. but the father HAS to sign the certificate or be married so its not 'automatic' IYSWIM

yerblurt Wed 19-Aug-09 20:59:57

If you were married then dad will automatically have PR and it cannot be removed.

If dad was "awarded" PR by a Court Order at a later date then yes PR can be rescinded (removed) but it is a rather extreme thing to happen and PR is usually not removed unless dad would use PR to 'get at' mum i.e. abuse and you had evidence of this.

lilacclaire Wed 19-Aug-09 22:55:04

Your ex could use it against you in the future if your ds ever gets in touch with him, he may twist things and say 'I couldn't see you as your mum took away pr' or something like that anyway.
Just because of that I would be wary.
If he's not interested then I would just leave it tbh.

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