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Ex in new relaionship neglecting our children

(7 Posts)
sooey76 Tue 28-Jul-09 15:02:30

I'm new to the site. Basically I split up with my partner 2 1/2 years ago. Sort of got back together, had another baby, very nearly got back together, But he left our kids at home while I was in hospital(11,9,7,3 and 12days!)and they had to spend 4 days in care(the only thing that kept me going was that my 12 day old was returned to the hospital to be with me).I realised I could never trust him again, then my now 4 year old broke his leg, and I had to ask him for help, he was meant to look after them 1 night, but he dumped them on a woman up the road to go and play poker with his girlfriend!I hate him, but I do think I should let the children decide whether they want to see him. I tried to be friends with him, but lately he can't be bothered with the kids, never comes to see them. What should I do? also his girlfriend has 4 kids and I think she should know about him leaving the kids home alone, do I try and contact her or let social services know. I was told he could never be left in charge of children because he isn't a mature adult, but that will make things worse between me and him and as a result on his relationship with the children. Help me please!

allaboutme Tue 28-Jul-09 15:07:42

i'd have nothing to do with him to be frank
you say you think the children should decide whether to see him or not, but they are too young to make that decision.
he is negligent and it would be DANGEROUS to let him look after your children. He doesnt even want to see them from the sounds of it. it is your reponsibility to keep them away from him while they are still young enough to need 'looking after'. when they are teens or adults they will be able to decide whether they want to see him or not.

moondog Tue 28-Jul-09 15:11:15

What, he left them at home alone?

How long has he been a shit dad [and criminal].

Why may I ask did you have so many kids with him?

thesilverlining Tue 28-Jul-09 16:01:00

sooey76 - get him out of your life and your kids life - you don't need that kind of twunt in your kids lives. As for the other woman's kids - they are her problem not yours.....move on and forget you ever knew him

how the hell could you want to be friends with someone who put your children in such danger?

GypsyMoth Tue 28-Jul-09 16:20:48

you need to take responsibility for these kids. do it yourself as he can't. and they are too young to make up their own minds with regard to seeing him.......

sooey76 Tue 28-Jul-09 17:13:12

Can I just say that he used to be a really good dad. I thought he was just going through a midlife crisis, hanging out with the wrong kind of people. One friend of his had 10 YES 10! kids she had walked out on, many excuses as to why, but I thought he'd 'come to his senses'and turn back to the person he used to be, silly I know. Like I said I hate him now, but I can't help but worry about the effect on the children especially the older ones who remember what he used to be like.

Unlikelyamazonian Tue 28-Jul-09 20:06:42

Dump him. Fast. Your children will thankyou. You are responsible for them. Take responsibility...I mean, would you leave your friend's lkids with him alone?

Probably not. So why your own?

Come on girl...have faith in your own decisions and stop looking at other women around him. You are your own dcs mother and they need you. He sounds a mighty big loser. Be rational and loving and stop giving this man a break. He aint worth it. I bet he loses at poker too.

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