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Any last minute words of wisdom before i meet with Cafcass?

(13 Posts)
noraledger Mon 27-Jul-09 16:27:30

Any extra advice, support or things to consider would be great!!!

GypsyMoth Mon 27-Jul-09 21:01:55

keep it child centred
good luck
let us know how it went!

Monty100 Tue 28-Jul-09 00:28:10

Sorry its so late. As ILT says, its all about the children and what is best for them.

Good luck.

GypsyMoth Tue 28-Jul-09 13:19:52

are you back yet?? how did it go?

noraledger Thu 30-Jul-09 10:34:24

Hi All,

Well it was shocking. I thought it was what is best for the children? I must be on a different planet or something.

Basically the judge didnt want to refer it to cafcass. He wanted to rule a 50 50 split straight away. The judge dimissed the domestic violence as a he said she said even though i have police reports. Thank god i have a good solicitor.

It appears that if you are the abuser you get listened to. If you are the liar, they believe you.

Cafcass were involved and my dd is with her dad for 2 full days and 1 half day. NO over nights thank god! They didnt care about the sibling or his feelings at all.

Went to drop off point this morning for dd to have the 1st half day and he turned up with out a car seat. Un believable. Wouldnt let him have dd and had to drop her off at his mothers myself so to keep her safe.

Have called my solicitor and he said that i will need to notify cafcass. I am now worried that dd will be driven back without car seat and there is nothing i can do about it as it will happen with out my knowledge.

What the hell is this world coming to?

cestlavielife Thu 30-Jul-09 11:39:52

so sorry....

is so frustrating.


have hearing on 24/8.

expecting similar..

however, as my counsellor said : this is out of your hands, you are not resposible for the decisions made. you did your best. (and you will be able to tell dcs that)

keep careful records /diary of contact eg note car seat issue ...

noraledger Thu 30-Jul-09 11:48:04

Yes i will be keeping a record of everything. I am so unhappy and am now having a reoccuring nightmare of being hung upside down. I woke up about 4 times in the night in hot sweats.

My dd cried her eyes out when i took her to the exp's front door. This is not right or fair at all the child.

My only hope is cafcass and their section 7 report. I need to get on to it today and start making my case for the childrens sake.

Let me know how it goes for you cestlavie and if there is anything i can help you with i will do my best.

GypsyMoth Thu 30-Jul-09 11:56:03

oh you poor thing!! was thinking about you.

section 7 report will show his side and yours,hopefully you will get across what he's like. DOmention the car seat issue,can you get your sol to send him a letter about it? then if he does it again,he's shot himself in the foot! (my ex put my daughter in the boot of his car for a trip to garden centre,so his mate and his kids had the seats!!) my ex's antics did not go down well with cafcass!!!!

noraledger Thu 30-Jul-09 12:02:29

Phoned solicitor already and yes it will be putin writting to his. He will not do it again i know that much. The thing is that i am not going to always be there and that is the issue. He knows how to manipultae the situation to his advantage and he seems to be such a good liar. I wish there was more i could do.

I just cant believe they do not take the wishes of my older dc in to account. Thats just not right is it?

GypsyMoth Thu 30-Jul-09 13:41:44

they will speak to your older kids as part of the section 7 report. they did mine. and their views were written into the report. it was accepted that my girls aged 12 and 14 wanted no contact.

Meglet Thu 30-Jul-09 13:44:10

keeping an eye on this as I can see me and ex p ending up using them one day.

I can't beleive your dp didn't get a car seat angry.

noraledger Thu 30-Jul-09 13:57:46

My 13 year old dc has nothing to do with ex any how and ex doesnt want anything to do with dc. Cafcass said older dc's opinion did not count when i said what a strong connection the two dc's have and how they worship each other. Cafcass said it makes no difference how they feel about each other older dc may worship the younger but it will make no difference to where the younger dc should be and who she should be with.

noraledger Thu 30-Jul-09 13:58:19

In other words, they are happy to split up the siblings!!

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