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talking to an internet "date" on the phone for the first time - all went a bit flat :-( please help!

(7 Posts)
LittleRedBook Mon 27-Jul-09 09:36:02

can anyone offer advice please?

met this really nice bloke on internet dating site. swapped a few emails, lots in common, seems promising. I suggest we have a phone call. Chatted for an hour last night but got to the end of the call and it all went a bit flat.

Trouble is I am good at small talk but not at more involved discussion IYSWIM, so we chatted about his job, and we chatted about current affairs and we talked a bit about our interests .... but nothing sparked, we didn't have a laugh and we didn't really get personal (don't mean saucy just didn't scrape the surface), I don't feel I know him any better though I know more about him.

and I think something could spark but I am just no good at flirting on the phone. I wanted to ask him more personal questions but felt that that would be intrusive. So our conversation was a bit dry in the end and rather tailed off into "it would be nice ot speak again, yes, I'll email you, and yes, you have my number..." Feel sad and blush this morning.

So, do I ...

a) wait for him to get in touch
b) call him again
c) let it go
d) email him saying what I've put above

Kind and wise lone parents please help! I have put this in Relationships too as I feel so rubbish I need all the help I can get.

CDMforever Mon 27-Jul-09 22:44:08

I met my ex on the Internet and we went out together for 3 years. What I think you need to do sooner rather than later is meet up in person. You will only know if theres any chemistry/connection there when you've done this. We can all be witty etc when writing emails and I always think that phonecalls don't bring out the best in people. The true acid test is a real life meeting. Scary stuff but then you will know. I did and we had a lovely relationship. Good Luck!

LittleRedBook Mon 27-Jul-09 22:48:05

thank you! left it until late, sent him an email and he has just texted. think we are ok. I was clearly anxious and over-analysing. new to this.

ipiratethief Mon 27-Jul-09 22:51:21

yes i can 2nd real life meeting.

Not that i have any positive stories, but you just don't know till you meet. Even being on the phone isn't as 'real' uness you have met and had eye contact and broken the ice properly.

I met someone i got on brilliantly with on msn, but face to face (even tho i had an idea what he looked like as I'd seen some pics) we floundered.

Plus i didn't fancy him.

I would text and suggest meeeting.

scary-yes, but is has to be done.

good luck!

ipiratethief Mon 27-Jul-09 22:52:07

did he not contact you today then?

Dysgu Mon 27-Jul-09 23:07:43

I add my agreement to meeting in person.

I met DP on an internet dating site. We have been together for 6+ years and have 2 DCs.

We found the phone conversations developed once we knew each other in person - especially as I was off to USA 3 months after we met. My DP is really not good at small talk especially on the phone but very capable of holding an interesting conversation face to face.

See if you can push for a meeting and see how things go in person.

Good luck.

moosh Wed 29-Jul-09 21:10:16

Phone calls can very quickly go flat cause there are those awkward silences. Believe it or not, I'd rather have an awkward silence face to face than on the phone (weird I know but thats me).
Meet him, I dated someone from a Speed dating thing for a bit last year and when we spoke on the phone a few days after we met at the event.... the conversation was a little strang and sparce, but when we met it was a really good night. We're not together anymore but he is one of my best mates now.
I agree with all the others meet him and just try to have a relaxing, funny night. Good luck

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