This is a weird one, I know. But I have a very good male friend with whom I go back years and years.
There's always been a 'thing' between us, but usually one or the other has been seeing someone else and nothing's really happened.
Recently it seems we'd both like to try and make a proper go of it. We've been talking a lot and getting on well, doing a few things together etc. Nothing that crosses the friendship boundary, though - I won't countenance that kind of thing, I enjoy his friendship but if he isn't ree, that's all it'll be. However, we have vaguely hinted at the being together thing, and in this context he said something the other day which made me a bit confused.
We were having quite an emotive conversation and he suddenly said 'I think I'm worried because my last girlfriend, her ex husband was real trouble, it was awful' so I said 'Oh, (confused frown) are you worried about [so and so, my ex boyfriend]?' and he said 'No, not about him'. and I didn't work out what he meant.
Suddenly today it struck me, that he meant his current girlfriend. I think he did, anyway. He only sees her sporadically as she's not local, and he's told me about her quite a lot in the past - she has a tendency to freak out completely if he so much as talks to another woman. One time a few years ago I rang his house, and spoke to her as she was staying for a few days, and she took a message (something about a favour I'd promised to do) but later he told me she had gone bonkers about the phone call. I was really embarrassed but a bit that he should choose to go out with someone obviously a bit odd/ insanely jealous. There were apparently other indications of this kind of oddness - nothing to do with me but similar kind of issues.
So what I think he means is that if he were to break up with her, and start seeing me, she would cause trouble somehow - which frankly I'm not too impressed with as an excuse, and it puts me right off really - there are exceptions of course but I don't see how there would be any need for that kind of thing. Surely if she started to harrass him/us, he/we could just go to the police?
I'm thinking maybe he just was using it as an excuse, which is even worse. Either way it isn't looking hopeful,is it? I feel quite cross - if he really wanted to be with me, he wouldn't let a bonkers girlfriend stand in the way, would he?
Just wanted to vent really, sorry, and thanks if you have read this far. It seems like yet another hopeful sounding man isn't going to be any good.
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The bloke I like is afraid to leave his current girlfriend
Chrysanthemums · 14/07/2009 17:33
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