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tips on getting over first love

(10 Posts)
crystalsangel Thu 09-Jul-09 14:50:43

iv just split from my bf of 4 yrs we have a baby girl together but hes now told me he does not want to be tied down and that hes not loved me for months just stayed for the baby i love him and am finding it realy hard to get over the hurt any one got any tips on how to get on with my life?

ridingjoker Thu 09-Jul-09 18:44:50

aww did want this to go unanswered.

it gets better with time. just keep busy. if it helps and your sure there's no going back... remove things of his from the house or put in storage things that will keep reminding you every 2 secs of the day.

if he still have stuff in bathroom or clothes. pack them away for him. it'll will help if you can get washed or changed and do simple things in life without constantly being reminded.

ridingjoker Thu 09-Jul-09 18:45:18

did not want to go unanswered

crystalsangel Thu 09-Jul-09 19:25:48

done that but i still see images of us every time i look at thing he touched or places we had been happy

ridingjoker Thu 09-Jul-09 20:28:11

perhaps try a bit of small redecorating? paint the living room or kitchen.

not an overhall. just perhaps give one room a new lease of life.

rearrange living room furniture? get new throwns?

crystalsangel Fri 10-Jul-09 09:12:56

yer will do going to try join a gym see if i can get some of my life back feel happy about myself cos all i feel at the mo is that i did something wrong and if he did not want me then no one will

ridingjoker Fri 10-Jul-09 12:18:23

gym def helps. and if funds are tights. even a home dvd for excercise.

just gives you more energy and something to take your mind off for an hr or so.

poshsinglemum Sat 11-Jul-09 22:08:05

Don't feel like no-one else will want you. Someone certainly will but you need to get over your ex.
If he was worth it then he wouldn't have decided that he didn't want to be tied down. What a prick. He can't decide that afetr having a baby with you.
I know that rejection hurts but try to look after yourself and your baby. Forget about him. Treat yourself to some new clothes. go to mum and baby groups. Try to get a baby sitter and go out or even just cry if it helps. Hope this will help.
I think you will have to grieve but eventually you will start to feel better.

lilacpink Sat 11-Jul-09 22:12:51

I've always found it better to face emotional pain head on (relationships, loss of preg etc.), I would say you have to acknowledge all your lost dreams before you can start to think about moving on. You'll prob know you're moving on when you think back and feel you're better off, e.g. you're still young, your child is still young, you have your health, you have freedom to make all your own decisions (as you can with a child!), you are likely to meet someone else even if it takes time to trust again.

MrsSeanBean Sat 11-Jul-09 22:14:17

Find someone else. Enjoy your single life. Focus on your baby, the good that has come out of the situation. Realise how unworthy he was of you (you will, gradually). I was left heartbroken 1 year before meeting DH, I now realise what a waste of time my ex was, though at the time I thought I loved him.

I realise your situation is different as you have a daughter together, so can't comment on that aspect, but the relstionship stuff is the same I think. Value your true worth. When you meet someone who truly loves you you will wonder what you saw in him. I know none of this will make sense now, but it will.

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