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never really thought I would posting here

(49 Posts)
Titania Wed 18-May-05 07:53:11

But here I am. H and I decided to call it a day yesterday. This morning he took his stuff and has moved back in with his mum. We had yet another row, another time of him belittling me. I decided a while ago really that it was over and this time I stood my ground. He spent half the night trying to convince me that if we were to split up I should be the one to leave cos I didn't want the kids if I didn't want him....sigh...then I told him that I wasn't in love with him anymore. That I needed some independance. He was so against me driving and going to college. All he wanted was for me to stay at home, have lots of kids and stay here to look after them 24/7. He then changed his tune saying that I should give him another chance to put things right and to change. I told him that it still wouldn't make me fall in love with him again. He said he didn't mind....he just wanted me around and that he still loved me. I said that it wasn't what I wanted...

Sorry....will quite rambling now.....sure you've heard enough....
I'm not sure how to feel about it really, or if I have even done the right thing but still. Not sure what to do now TBH.....

Fio2 Wed 18-May-05 07:55:25

titania, it is a big thing but if it is the root of your unhappiness I am sure eventually it will be the right thing. It will be a long and painful road and I hope you have the strength. i am sure you have. You are a young girl with your life ahead of you x

Louise1980 Wed 18-May-05 07:58:53

Hey, sorry to hear this, but you cant stay in a relationship you rnt happy in. It will affect the kids too and thats not fair.

Its better to have a happy family with seperate families than an unhappy family with two parents!

Who knows after a break you might manage to start again.

suzywong Wed 18-May-05 08:01:09

good for you Titania, here's to a new life of your own choices and happier times

Hausfrau Wed 18-May-05 08:46:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tammybear Wed 18-May-05 08:51:07

(((hugs))) titania, but if you're unhappy then you've done a good thing for yourself and your children. hope you're okay at the moment. xxx

Titania Wed 18-May-05 08:52:46

i dont really know how i feel at the moment. numb.....sad....confused....angry.....i dont know...

charleepeters Wed 18-May-05 08:54:42

Titania you did the right thing surley its best for you and the kids to be happy without your h than be unhappy with him???? im sure it will get better in time and you can start your life the way you want to sorry your going through this

Mum2girls Wed 18-May-05 08:56:42

Reading your other posts, and what you've written here, this man would've eventually killed your spirit completely. It's a sad and lonely time, but the start of a new and I'm sure, better life for you.

motherinferior Wed 18-May-05 08:56:53

Good for you for standing your ground.

101StressPuppy Wed 18-May-05 08:57:12

Well done you! it seemed from your posts that alot of you unhappines stemmed from your relationship one way or another. It'll get worse before it gets better but it will get better and you'll be glad you found the courage to leave.

Do you any support near by?

Titania Wed 18-May-05 08:58:13

no 101....i dont have anyone

101StressPuppy Wed 18-May-05 09:02:30

Are there any MNers near you?

FWIW I think you have made a huge step forward in taking control of your life and that will really help you feel better about a lot of things.

How old are your children?

Fio2 Wed 18-May-05 09:04:21

I mean going to college and learning to drive is a wonderful thing, how can he deny you of that? I hope you know you are right for sticking up for yourself, it is totaly unreasonable to act the way he does and immature

Titania Wed 18-May-05 09:05:55

gothicmamas not too far away but shes at uni.

my children are 5, 3 and 15 months

charleepeters Wed 18-May-05 09:07:38

where abouta are you titania???

Titania Wed 18-May-05 09:08:05

shropshire

stitch Wed 18-May-05 09:08:24

lots of luck for the future titania.
i wish i had your strength

charleepeters Wed 18-May-05 09:08:52

are there no groups you could to or and mates at collage you could chat to???

Titania Wed 18-May-05 09:09:48

i havent started college yet. there are groups but i get pushed out. I have no friends here.

Titania Wed 18-May-05 09:10:15

stith.....i have no strength....are you ok?

stitch Wed 18-May-05 09:14:26

titania, you have more strength than you think.
you convinced your partner to move out as he was no good for you.
and you have lots of friends here on mn.
no, im not particularly ok, but this thread isnt about me, 9(and i dont really want to talk about my probs right now, maybe later in the evening).
i think virtual friends can be far far better than rl ones.

101StressPuppy Wed 18-May-05 09:14:56

Can I suggest A few things:

Firstly, that you find a couple of groups that you can take the 3 year old and 15mth old to whilst the 5 yo is at school? perhaps a gymnastics or dance class for the 3yo and a toddler group for the 15mth old.

Secondly, that you make an appointment with your doctor or HV today, explain that you have split with your partner and that you have been struggling with depression for a while. Ask if there is a dropin centre near you that might be able to provide some support.

Thirdly, you really force yourself to get on with the driving lessons and college.

and finally, FORCE yourself to go out somewhere everyday, even if it's only to walk to the local shop. You must go out of the house everyday. Even when you don't feel like it. If you do nothing else in the day go outsidfe for at least 10 minutes.

Good luck.

stitch Wed 18-May-05 09:15:10

even if you feel that you dont have a best friend on mn, you know you are part of a community, and that is a good feeling

stitch Wed 18-May-05 09:16:03

excellent advice stressedpuppy.
what part of the country are you in titania?

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