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Partner left yesterday... need to get practical and happy.... wanna join me???

(11 Posts)
mamadiva Mon 06-Jul-09 09:52:39

Well basically the title says it all!

I don't want to become the jittering wreck, I don't want to be the mum down the street that always has red eyes and I certainly do not want to be the one who never smiles!!!

Had my day of 'mourning' yesterday, so need to pick myself up off the ground and dust myself off for my own sake and the sake of our son.

But most of all... I need to be happy on my own I'm only 22 surely there's plenty of time for relationships and such like, although it's not even on my mind right now, after 8 years I am young, free and single!

Just need a place to chat about the ups and downs of everything and would love to hear other people's experiences, views and most of all need to keep the positivity levels high

ElenorRigby Mon 06-Jul-09 18:22:18

Really sorry to hear your news.
Its great though that you are being so positive! Of course you will survive and get stronger Anything that doesnt kill you and all that!
Not to sure I can help too much with the practicalities but Im sure someone will be along to help soon

inthemistsoftime Mon 06-Jul-09 18:42:30

hi mamdiva, great to hear you so positive, a bit like myself after I had gotten the mourning period!

my advice would be to tell as many friends and family in real life so that they can support you in the down moments, and you will have down moments, its only natural.

mumsnet is also a great place for very early listening ears when you can't sleep for thinking, it was my life line.

Good luck and well done

AlwaysTheMummy Tue 07-Jul-09 09:58:17

Hey hun, I had my 'mourning' day on saturday, just so happened I was at work, I would be fine one minute then the next I would be sobbing my heart out and unable to stop. My manager and colleagues were fantastic about it. Later that day I rented out some really girly dvds, ordered in a chinese and bought the biggest tub of Ben & Jerry's cookie Dough icecream i could find.

I feel much better now, although I feel terribly guilty for my children, but their dad and I are still on very good terms so hopefully it wont affect them too much.

Hope you are feeling better today xx

inthemistsoftime Wed 08-Jul-09 19:09:37

hi mamadiva, how are you feeling today?

stillkissingfrogs Wed 08-Jul-09 22:01:43

Glad to hear your so positive, the first few weeks or so will be a bit up and down as far as you emotions go. Just remember to take time out to chill and enjoy the single life for a while smile

worley Wed 08-Jul-09 22:22:12

i've just split also from my dp, were together for 13 years so feels very weird, it been 6 weeks for us and i think im getting worse more than better, yesterday was a very bad day, but better today. my dc dont know yet whats going on, we are all going on holiday in aug so will tell them after then. he normally works eves a lot so he not often here in the eve so the oldest ds1 doesnt realise anyhow.

my friends keep telling me im still young (im 31)etc, plenty more fish in the sea but its not really what i want to think about at the moment!

secretskillrelationships Sat 01-Aug-09 19:28:08

Also separating from my partner. We've been together over 20 years so it's a huge wrench. I want to keep everything really civil but now realise that I have nowhere to vent, hoping Mumsnet'll help!

I've been really together since we made the decision but also busy. In spite of lots of attention and copious alcohol, I haven't deviated from my plan to speak no wrong of H. So far, doing better than before we made the decision. Also managing to let things go at home (he leaves next week).

Now I'm at home full time with my DCs, I'm a bit concerned about how I'll cope. Looks like no adult contact for over a week, so pity the poor checkout staff at the local supermarket!

thesouthsbelle Sat 01-Aug-09 19:39:01

agree with itmot.

I was with XH for 8 years we split when i was 25 with one DS. we'er on good terms mostly considering.

you'll be up and down just go with and do what every you need to at the mo to get thru each day.

thesilverlining Mon 03-Aug-09 13:00:06

oh yes please can I join!

Husband left us back in April by June we were working things through having a lovely time and setting the date for him to move back in. That was meant to be this weekend just gone. 7 days ago he informs me that actually he has fallen for his sisters best mate and so will be seeing her from now on and won't be seeing me! I am a mess! But I need to not be - my DCs need me and I want to survive this with dignity. So yes I'd love to support you on here if I can! And hope that MN will help my friends get a breather from my sobbing!

secretskillrelationships Tue 18-Aug-09 07:47:35

How's everyone doing? I am a bit up and down at the moment. DD (9) got very angry with me a few days ago and basically said everything that I'd been worrying about before we split. She is now feeling very insecure and clingy but is with her father for a few days as planned (I need the space but feel bad for her too).

I guess this is just the start. I'm dreading school starting and having to tell another lot of people. Also, none of the DCs have yet told anyone - I think they think if they don't mention it it will go away. I just feel so sad for them.

We're being very 'mature' about it and the public story is that it's a mutual decision but it isn't and it hurts. Fed up with people saying 'well at least he didn't leave for another woman' as if it's easier that he's left because I'm not enough. But of course I'm being unfair because they don't know that's why he's left.

Stupid thing is he's now treating me kindly. If he'd just done that before I could, maybe, have dealt with everything else. Now I just see how awful he was and wonder why on earth I put up with it for so long!

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