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How do you do it? Can I do it? HELP!!

(14 Posts)
changedname4this Mon 16-May-05 15:24:09

Ok, I'm in my early 20s and I think I've fallen out of love with my dp
I'm a sahm, I'm on anti depressants and I don't know what to do.
Dd is just over 18mths and very demanding. Dp does help with her when hes not at work and she loves him to bits.
At the moment everything dp says or does just gets under my skin.
If I asked him to leave I'd be taking my dds dad away from her and I'd have to do everything on my own.
I don't know if I could cope.
And I've also worked out that I'd have about £115 a week to live on. I have old credit cards and other financial commitments that I'd have to pay too.

Hermione1 Mon 16-May-05 15:39:17

Sorry you're haveing a rotton time at the moment, i am in a similar situation, can you not sit him down and tell him how you feel??you might just need afew days to be on your own and then take it from there?? You need to talk to him, because he won't be able to read your mind, secondly if the worst comes to the worst and you do decide to part, lots of parents are lone parents and they cope, have you heard of home-start or sure-start, they are good organisations that get parents together etc etc, you could probably look them up on the internet to see if they have one near you. If your depressed that might to be making you feel like the situation is worse. Everyone has ups and downs in relationships, do you want to make it work?? why do you feel you have fell out of love with your dp?? What would make you happy in your relationship, is there somethine he's not doing to make you feel like this??
Above all, i hope you can work things out one way or another so you can be happy with your dd. xxx

flum Mon 16-May-05 15:43:15

Can you bite your lip. It will probably pass in a few months. Try to find an interest for yourself in the mean time. Don't force the relationship, but if you wait it will probably turn upwards again.

He is the father of your dd. You should do all you can to stay with him unless he really makes your life a misery.

HappyMumof2 Mon 16-May-05 15:47:30

Message withdrawn

changedname4this Mon 16-May-05 15:53:43

I don't really know. I just feel really sad.
We don't seem as close as we used to be.
He does little things that drive me mad. Like not putting his washing in the basket, leaving crisp packets everywhere, not putting things away. Just silly little things.
He also says hes going to look after his little brothers for his mom and then goes down his mates-why doesn't he just tell me?
Hes always really quiet as well recently, we never seem to talk about anything. If I try and talk to him he just kind of somehow cuts it short.
Its so hard to explain...

flum Mon 16-May-05 15:56:51

try not to consider leaving as an option otherwise it will keep nagging at you. just think how can i make the best of this.

if you can't get him to talk, don't worry, just leave it for a while.

the minor irritation at his actions is normal when a relationship hits a down dip. That would happen with anyone. The irritation at having NOONE there to help could be worse.

Try suggesting you do something fun together. even if it is with dd. Eg a weekend away.

HappyMumof2 Mon 16-May-05 16:02:57

Message withdrawn

changedname4this Mon 16-May-05 16:04:26

We haven't really got much money.
I tried to get him to go to Stourport-its got like a river with boat trips and some stuff for kids, we used to have a good time there but he wasn't having none of it.
Maybe I can get him out for a meal at the pub, its always more relaxed out the flat.

changedname4this Mon 16-May-05 16:05:04

Oh sorry, hes 22

HappyMumof2 Mon 16-May-05 16:16:14

Message withdrawn

flum Mon 16-May-05 16:18:51

have you been together about 2/3 years?

changedname4this Mon 16-May-05 16:23:21

I haven't got many friends but I know my family would always be there for me.
I think he would help with dd but I'd have to do all the day to day stuff by myself.
I think the main thing is I've had to grow up and since having dd and he kind of hasn't.
I guess I'll just stick it out for a while

Hermione1 Mon 16-May-05 16:24:17

Men never grow up,

changedname4this Mon 16-May-05 16:26:31

I've gotta go now, thanks for all your help

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