how do you deal with the loneliness?(7 Posts)
I have been separated over a year now. Ihave freinds and family, who I am pretty close to, and whoI am really grateful for.
but I just get this nagging loneliness. Like having noone to share the small details of life with. Noone to go out on a free weekend with. Noone to go away with. Noone to chill in front of the tv with after a hard day with ds.
Friends and family are great and are there for me, and often are there to go out with, tell things to etc, but they have their own lives. And sometimes I feel like I am just harping on at them to go out or for me to come round, or telling them shit abuot my day etc etc
I have hobbies, I keep busy, I relax on my own (like with a good book, or in the bath), but it is still there in the background
so so how on earth do I deal with the loneliness?
Hi ragged, its hard isnt it?
I used to find weekends so difficult when the kids gone to their dads, all my friends would be at home with their partners and kids. And school nights when the kids have to be in bed early, no one to talk to, thats why i am on here!!
Cant offer much advice really cos lots of us feel the same, just wanted you to know you not alone.
I had the same problem at first.
I really wallowed for some time and my poor friends must have had bleeding ears from my constant moaning.
Eventually I found a couple of decent single parent sites. I joined them, met others. Chat on MSN in the evenings to some of them. That helps. Some ppl would think its boring and hey, its not much of a life I guess but its all mine!
Also have threw myself at dating (rightly or wrongly at the time) and took EVERY social opportunity going.
Its taken a year but i have a fairly good life now. Some people have commented that I've changed so much. My point is that the lesson I've learned is you've got to go out and grab a chunk of life. I did the sitting and wallowing, it didn't help at all.
feelingole - snap. exactly the same here. thanks for the support
niceguy- a very positive story. Which sites do you visit? I think I need to meet other lone parents tbh, as everyone I know is either part of a family or a couple. It would be nice to meet people who kind of know what its like...
Know exactly what you mean.
I haven't found any solutions yet, and I find some days are so much worse than others, depending on what I am doing or wanting to do, but I just think to myself that tomorrow is another day, and I probably wont feel so bad tomorrow. I also try to keep myself busy.
I agree with ragged about meeting other lone parents, all the other mums i know have partners, even those who were on their own for a while have gone on to meet new ones. I try not to think about it too much (although i do have bad days) and try to do other things, walking the dog, listening to music, it does help (most of the time)
You need to find hobbies you can do cheaply at home and inexpensive social trips you can do with fellow single parents. However I would try and find happy single parents i.e. those who don't overidentify with chasing after the next man, believing life is impossible without a man in it etc.
I would also recommend joining a Nichiren Buddhist group in your local area, it is just great! As life changing as anything I have ever done. That has given me spiritual sustenance and a different focus on life.
Good luck anybody feeling lonely/upset!
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