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why cant i move on

(3 Posts)
bakerslovecakes Sat 27-Jun-09 22:09:46

I've been a lone parent now since my DD was born 14 yrs ago, at first i didnt care about not having a partner i loved it being just me and my DD but for the last couple of years i've been thinking how it would be nice to meet someone but when i actually think about getting close to someone and "falling in love" with someone again i almost have an anxiety attack and start thinking that its better to stay single that is until i start feeling lonely again. I was really hurt by my xp (he left when i was 4 months preg and i havent seen him since) and i cant go through all that again also how would my daughter feel if i met someone its always been me and my DD.

thumbwitch Sun 28-Jun-09 00:34:09

First, have you tried talking to your DD about the concept of you having a "boyfriend"?
Start with that - you never know, she might be really happy to hear that you are thinking about your own needs (of course, she might not either!)

Your fear is entirely understandable. When my 1st fiance buggered off after 11y together (he was my 1st BF as well) I was so hurt that for a while I couldn't contemplate ever getting myself into that risky situation again; but of course I did eventually.

You were very badly let down once - that doesn't mean that it will happen again, but it might. What you have to decide is - which is worse? the risk of meeting someone who might or might not let you down, or being alone forever because you were too scared to try?

Remember these things:
"it's better to regret the things you HAVE done than the things you DIDN'T do"
"loving and losing is better than never loving at all"

And if these don't help, then you could try my friend's favourite one - What would Madonna do? grin<sorry to be facetious, but who knows what might help?>

chattysoul Sun 28-Jun-09 11:04:10

Take up Nichiren Buddhism - find a local group near you on the internet - it helps to chant 10 mins twice a day and is blindingly good for realising your goals and getting over your past.

It worked for Tina Turner and is now working for me!!

HTH

chattysoul x

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