DS?s father hasn?t been much involved. Ds is 2.5 - unplanned, much adored outcome of short relationship which ended before I knew I was pregnant. Ex lives locally, visits every couple of months or so, usually at my initiation. Doesn?t contribute financially. Has daughter from previous relationship with him half the week and would like her to have relationship with DS.
Early on asked Ex what he wanted to be referred to, as always talked to ds about family/friends. No response. Decided to refer to him by his name rather than dad as felt the dad word came with big expectations that couldn't be met by ex. Have told ds he is his father but he can?t be around much.
Ex and I met today to talk about trying to sort out something more regular as getting increasingly fed up with chasing. Ex agrees, acknowledges not good at contact. Doesn?t want to have any involvement in childcare but would like to see DS more regularly. Would like ds to call him Dad.
Glad about the prospect of regular visits - ds always v happy to see him - also poss of relationship with half-sister and onus poss not on me to arrange and should feel glad about the D word but feeling jittery. Feel ex has made so little effort to date that feel he hasn?t earned it. Also concerned he will start this with all good intentions but it will fizzle out.
Does that make sense? SO want to do the right thing by ds, who is a fab, confident, happy, loving boy. More confusing to have Dad who doesn't do much of the dad stuff or to have a father who isn't called a dad??
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The 'dad' word - advice needed!
3 replies
Mairena40 · 22/06/2009 22:40
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