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Fathers Day

(8 Posts)
sparklefrog Thu 18-Jun-09 18:27:15

Since it's Father's Day this Sunday, I have bought a v. small token gift and a card, on behalf of my 10 month old DD for my XP.

XP always looked forward to his 1st Father's day, and so I wanted to mark the occasion, mainly for DD really, as I am trying to create good relations between DD and XP, and didn't want to feel like I was being petty, but what do I write in the card?? hmm

XP has been a crap father so far, and I know it isn't PC to put anything negative in the card, nor would I want to, but I don't want to put blatant lies either, eg: you're such a fantastic daddy etc

XP hasn't seen DD regularly since we split, and has done everything he can to use her to get his foot back in the door. He has spent no more than £50 on her since she was born, including any maintenance or food etc. He expects me to provide everything for her when he sees fit to see her. He only pays her attention when I say to him that being a good dad is a good start for getting back in my good books, and becoming friends. He has threatened to drop her in front of me, abandoned her to go to the shop alone, leaving her home alone when she was 6 months old. He basically uses her to either hurt me, or to get me to talk to him, etc etc. I don't believe he really cares about her very much from his behaviour, and has even stolen the little money she had from birth.

We have a court order (after he abducted DD when she was 6 months old, to make me take him back if I wanted DD back, sort of a package deal, or he was refusing to bring her back until I agreed to take him back, which I didn't, I sought legal help instead and got residency)

Since then, he claims to never have the money to see her, even when he is a 90 min walk away.
He is apparently going to pick her up on Saturday (his contact day) and this is probably the only time DD will see him until after father's day.

So............what to write in the card?

Any ideas??

amisuchabadmummy Thu 18-Jun-09 18:28:41

Dear Daddy, Happy Fathers Day, love from DD.

supagirl Thu 18-Jun-09 21:00:46

Agree with pp, why write anything else?


Leslaki Thu 18-Jun-09 21:05:50

Just do a painted hand/footprint from her and then you don't need to write anything. I think you're being very generous TBH - he doesn't deserve it!

Mutt Thu 18-Jun-09 21:06:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sparklefrog Thu 18-Jun-09 23:11:26

haha, I'd love to pepper the card with 'you're shite' 'deadbeat dad' 'grow up' etc etc, but think it will bode well for the future if I write what AISABM suggested, with maybe a little hand print/footprint. Not confident it wont be thrown in the bin eventually anyhow, since it's sentimental, rather than valuble, but at least I'll know we have done the right thing. grin

Thanks for the suggestions though.

I have always put alot of thought and words into other cards, so I'm sure he'll get the message. grin

aseriouslyblondemoment Thu 18-Jun-09 23:16:58

yep a card will suffice
and agree with the others he's lucky to get that
and yes it's hard to be adult at times like this,but try to rise above it
i am

notevenamousie Fri 19-Jun-09 11:18:16

I would say just do the handprint too. That has plenty enough value. Or don't even bother - it doesn't sound like he has been anything other than sperm donor, you're doing all the parenting.

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