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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Sorry just need to have a moan before ex comes round to see kids.

12 replies

emmawil37 · 13/06/2009 11:46

Hi,

Sorry I just need to vent some things before my exh comes round to visit kids.

Its only been under two weeks and to tell the truth I'm already feeling stronger and actually quite liking being by myself, I am changing my warobe, slapping on the fake tan, hair done, dieting and it feels great being able to look after myself and my children.

I did break my toe and it set me back but I think in a positive way. I just want to stay positive when ex comes round. I don't want to argue with im especially infront of the kids. He was a cheat so I have to be better of without him but he is the kids father and I have to be able to handle myself well when I see him for the kids sake.

I guess things will get better, I just wanted to vent this before I see him in ah hour, sorry, but I do feel better!

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Janos · 13/06/2009 13:28

It's allowed and completely understandable. I don't much like seeing mine but it does get easier.

Don't react to any provocation on his part. Smile, smile, smile, be polite and pleasant (or, cool and civil)

That will wind him more than anything else and keep you in control.

Good luck

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Janos · 13/06/2009 13:30

Oh sorry I was a bit late hope it went ok in any case.

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GypsyMoth · 13/06/2009 13:40

I did that when we split...... Weightloss, new hair style, the works, good for you!!!

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emmawil37 · 13/06/2009 14:02

The bugger still hasn't turned up just over an hour late leaving me to explain to the kids that he will be here, and winding me up before he even gets here

GOD I HATE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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emmawil37 · 13/06/2009 14:48

Sorry its me again!

He's here and I'm trying to let him be with the children and leave them alone so I thought I would sit here and type and it then works to get rid of any frustrations aswell, especially the one that says 'oh but he is still so good-looking' or 'he's so good with the kids' or 'I want him back' all of which are ridulous, he's a cheating f*er and I can do a lot better.

I think I'm going to need a very large glass of wine tonight. I actually wished I had more friends in the area, I could do with going out and having a good natter, flirt with any men that are out there and a good few drinks, problem is my friends are still happily in couples which is great for them.

Oh god this wasn't how I had planned it! Least he brought them presents this time I guess, even if they were from poundland and broke within 5 minutes. Bloody men. Are there any good ones out there????????????

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gigglinggoblin · 13/06/2009 14:54

There are but yo have to look hard! Why is he in your house? Have the kids ready on the doorstep next time so you dont have to put up with him

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Janos · 13/06/2009 14:57

Oh yes the being late thing. More shitty controlling behaviour - don't rise to it.

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emmawil37 · 13/06/2009 15:07

The kids are really clingy to me always have been and they will only see him if I'm there aswell and at the moment I have a broken toe and can't drive so he has had to come to the house.

I'm trying not to rise to it but he just knows what buttons to press!

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Janos · 13/06/2009 15:23

That must be very tough.

Can you go into another room when he is there?

You really don't have to interact with him beyong basic civility (which is for the sake of your DC's and your own sanity).

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emmawil37 · 13/06/2009 15:31

I'm in another room and trying hard to just be plesant, its just so hard, I can't wait until he gos. I need to talk to him about finances that are in a mess and we have no money here, but I can't bring myself to look at him let alone talk to him. I still hate him for what he did to this family.

Please tell again it does get better!

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tootyflooty · 13/06/2009 15:48

it's early days, you will mellow towards him in time. yes he did a shitty thing, but it meant things weren't right between you.it doesn't excuse his behaviour, it's what happens going forwards that counts,bit your tongue and discuss what you need to calmly, for your own sanity as much as anything

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emmawil37 · 13/06/2009 18:30

Thank you for all your comments. He has gone now, oh it was tense and I was most upset that he took of his wedding ring, I had, so why shouldn't he? Daft hey! Anyway we didn't anything that we should talk about but never mind I think he's gone for another week I'll try and write everything down for next week maybe that might work.