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ex, his new gf and csa, please help

(12 Posts)
samk9000 Sat 13-Jun-09 10:36:54

hi, does anyone know how csa works if my ex moves in with his new gf. he used to give me money every week and come see his son nearly everyday but since meeting new gf he hardly sees his son and he owes me 4 weeks money. im thinking of just going through csa as he is moving 1/2hour away, not far but just now he is only 5mins away and doesnt come. i know he will just keep coming up with excuses about not paying. he has his own business and im wondering if it is worth going through csa (im not working at the mo) as ive read a few csa topics and they dont paint a good picture lol.

any help would be great thanks xxx

idranktheteaatwork Sat 13-Jun-09 10:42:39

It doesn't make any difference to how much he should pay you if he moves in with his girlfriend unless;

1. He stops work and she supports him financially.
2. They have a child together in which case he would pay a little less maintenence to account for that child/children.
3. He started having your child for more time including a set amount of overnights in which case his maintenence would be reduced alittle to take thaT into account.

If you are not working then you can only keep a small amount of maintenence on top of you benefits, i think it is currently either £10 or £20 per week.
The rest goes back into the pot which pays your benefits.

So, at the moment if are on benefits, you should be automatically using the csa or have a private arrangement in place which the benefits agency are aware of and take into account when calculating your benefits.

samk9000 Sat 13-Jun-09 11:44:53

thanks for the info. i did contact the csa before but he wanted to have a private arrangement which was fine at first when he paid it, i knew id lose my money, i just feel that why should he get off without paying for our child, we decided to have him and now he has met someone else he has shrugged his responsabilities.

i seemed to have made a bad choice in partners lol, the sad thing is its my son who will miss out on a relationship with his father, personally i wouldnt care if i never saw him again but ive tried everything to get him to have more to do with our son.

oldraver Sat 13-Jun-09 17:52:49

So are you saying the CSA/benefits didnt know about your 'private arrangement'?

samk9000 Sat 13-Jun-09 20:32:47

yes they do, because they foned me and said they had spoke to him and he said he wanted to sort it out ourself and they were fine with that, if i ever wanted to start the claim i was just to get in touch. its not even about the money, its the fact that he has shrugged all responsability for his child. im not even going to bother with him anymore, if his money is that important to him then he can keep it, il make sure my son gets what he needs without his help.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Sat 13-Jun-09 20:37:04

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Jaquelinehyde Sat 13-Jun-09 20:55:52

As far as I'm aware ( I haven't worked at the CSA for a few years now) they make a very small allownace for any children that are within the household. Howver, it is nowhere near the amount that is allowed if they are his biological children.

Her wage details are required by the CSA only to work out how much he realistically needs to contribute towards housing and other costs. Her wages will not be used to contribute to any maintenance.

I presume that the DSS are aware that you recieve money from your ex and so are reducing your benefit accordingly. You need to inform them straight away that you are no longer recieving anything so they can re-adjust your money.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Sat 13-Jun-09 21:00:06

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Ivykaty44 Sat 13-Jun-09 21:03:30

they make allowence for any dc in the nrp household and it is the same allowence whether they are bio dc in the household or non bio - well that was how they worked our claim out.

But then they seem to change the rules to suit - you get paid from the day they contact the nrp - unless there are two claims then it doesn't count and you only get paid from when they work out how much is to be paid - and that is for both claims, even if one went in first.

They even paid me someone elses claim one month! and told me the computer had decied to pay me someone elses claim and give my claim to the other person - they then had to try to get the money back from the other person and where telling me that if they didn't I couldn't have the money!

I would stay so far away from the csa as they are a bunch of crocks without handles

Jaquelinehyde Sat 13-Jun-09 21:19:30

Before this becomes a CSA bitchfest can I just point out that it is the system that's at fault and not the minimum wage poor beggers who work there.

Anywho, they must have changed the rules re children in household. It makes sense to have made it all the same because the difference was minimal.

The bottom line is that if you're on a benefit by law you must have an agreement in place so that any payments can be off set against what the state gives you.

If you choose not to inform the csa/benefits that your payments have stopped then it wil be you who loses out financially because they will continue to reduce your benefit.

Rock and a hard place spring to mind.

I feel very sorry for your ds having contact reduced so much. It must be very confusing for him. sad

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Sat 13-Jun-09 21:22:19

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samk9000 Sat 13-Jun-09 22:07:40

thanks for all your help. there is no other his new gf doesnt have kids as far as i know. im foning the relevent people tommorrow to get myself sorted.

hoping one day i will find a nice man that will restore my faith in men lol. the only decent ones i know are family and friends lol.

i have to agree with realityismyonlydelusion, the lady i spoke to from the csa was lovely and very helpful, she foned my ex extremely quickly after i called and it was all sorted that day, maybe i was lucky.

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