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anyone become ill after finishing an abusive relationship?

(8 Posts)
Meglet Thu 28-May-09 10:29:06

I split with ex p at the start of the year after 2 years of nasty verbal abuse and agression. I'm on my own with 2.6 ds and 8m dd now, but lots of family help.

I managed to hold it together during all the time I was with ex p and gritted my teeth until it became clear I had to get rid of him. For the first 3 months of this year he was still harrassing and threatening me over the phone, the police have cautioned him and he's finally stopped

Since the day the police read him the riot act (and I could relax as I knew we were safe) I have been really ill, I assume its a foul virus but I wonder if its partly because I was living in such a state of stress that my body is now having to recover and get well again. Life is bloody hard with 2 little ones, but I'm usually fighting fit and starting to think this illness part of getting back to normal.

Or maybe I'm just being a hypocondriac (sp?). grin

lostdad Thu 28-May-09 10:34:15

Yes. When my ex took my son I was diagnosed with depression for the first time in my life, was suicidal but had no choice but to carry on working to pay the bills. I lost 1 1/2 stone in weight in 2 weeks too.

The highlight was my boss asking me to keep `breaks' to a minimum - when I would go out of the office to have a panic attack where no one else could see me.

I got no support whatsoever from anyone aside from friends and family because as a father I was expected to `get on with it'.

Bramshott Thu 28-May-09 10:41:52

It's certainly possible to "fight off" illness through a really busy / stressful time, only for it to come on suddenly as soon as you relax. Sounds as though you are finally relaxing!

Meglet Thu 28-May-09 13:59:05

Thinking about it its like when I had a rotten stressfull job a few years ago and always got ill on a friday evening and was ill every weekend while I was there.

Fingers crossed the sunny weather will do me some good. I'm not used to being ill.

CrushWithEyeliner Thu 28-May-09 14:06:01

Yes as the body relaxes al the ailments are "allowed" to surface.

Let yourself just be ill. Don't fight it. Healing is a psychological process.

Meglet Thu 28-May-09 14:22:50

Thank you crush smile. I have just flopped with a cup of tea + home made cookies, should do me the world of good. Got another gp's appointment later to check out lingering chest infection!

CrushWithEyeliner Thu 28-May-09 15:17:01

Good for you - please take lots of rest and recouparation - know it is sooo difficult with LOs x

chattysoul Sun 31-May-09 18:27:59

Yes it can only be relaxing after the stress.

Eat healthy, drink plenty of water, don't drink too much booze (easily done!!) stay positive and avoid negative people/situations. Take supplements e.g. good strong multivitamin and mineral supplement and I swear by echinacea too! Vogels brand.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.

chattysoul x

ps just one tip if you feel nervous I take a malt drink from a tin not a bottle as that gives my nerves strength, I have always been a nervy sort (Supermalt). An acquired taste though!

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