access ..please can you give me some advice

[confusedaboutmendotcom]

Is a day and a night a week totally unreasonable for my twins to have access to their dad as he thinks i am being unreasonable and won;t agree as he thinks this is too much.

Background. I am a single parent with twinsand 2 other kids.

Personally i think he is being completely unreasonable and that he could do even more

[confusedaboutmendotcom]

Thanks mutt i didnt think i was.. :-( indeed for my twins as he thinks i just want him to have them for me..Well its not its so as he can give the twins more 1-1 attention and so i can spend more time with my other kids. Thanks for the support

[GypsyMoth]

what an idiot.
he might change his mind when the csa start chasing him.....the more he has them,the bigger his reduction. how old are they?

[lostdad]

I was going to do my usual `would you consider it reasonable to see your kids so infrequently)...then realised he thought it was too much and not you.

He is being completely unreasonable. He is a parent and needs to start acting like one. Kids have a right to two parents and his doing what he is - he is denying them their right.

Fathers like him make me hang my head in despair. Some of us would dream of our kids being allowed to spend at least that amount of time with us (although it still wouldn't be enough. He's the sort of example quoted at me every other day.

• Lostdad (35 hours per fortnight after 8 court appearances, 300 miles moved across the country, £15,000 spent even though I represent myself, job given up and a CAFCASS report looking).

[BonsoirAnna]

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

My DSSs (14, 12) spend half the time at our house and half at their mother's - every other weekend and two nights a week during terms time, and the holidays are split in two down the middle.

[AnarchyAunt]

YANBU, but unfortunately there is little you can do to make him do more

If he really doesn't want to then tbh its better that he doesn't, as its also very unfair for your DC to be made to spend time with someone who is resenting every minute of it.

Is he really taking issue with the amount of time or is it more that he wants the ultimate control/decision about access, to be made at his leisure IYSWIM? I know with my ex, he refused to be tied to a timetable for access and turned up as and when he felt like it. He also used to say that he was not 'there to look after DD for my convenience' (arse). He now doesn't really see her much at all (maybe 1/2 times a year, organised by his parents) and tells all and sundry this is because I am unreasonable and won't let him [sigh]

He sounds like a prize knob but I'm not sure what you can do about it. Its very very hard to parent with so little support from ex - do you have other family who can help out and give you a break or time for some individual attention for the DC?