just an arrrrgh sort of rant...

[anastaisia]

Months of ex phoning me while he has dd and I'm supposed to be working. Or turning up at the door whenever to have a go at me. Or kicking up a fuss when picking up or dropping off dd.

Now I'm doing everything by email. Its the end of the trial of him having dd for two set days (his request, I've never set a limit on the number of days he can see her) so I emailed with just three points I think we need to slightly tweak for dd's benefit. Nothing major, they were;
that she needs to eat before he drops her at an activity that I pick her up from because she's not able to concentrate when there.
that the clock change made her tired and I think we should make adjustments to the times for a couple of weeks after other clock changes as this is a long term arrangement (she was saying she didn't want to go and they had a really bad few days that made dd unsettled for longer into the week)
that I thought we needed to think about how to make picking up/dropping off a bit easier on her because she was getting v upset when asked to say goodbye/give hugs etc. I feel that it makes her think more about leaving someone behind than about going with someone.

Everything was carefully thought out, language all avoiding blame or sounding like I was in control. Included some 'These are the things I've noticed since this started and my thoughts about them, what about you? Any ideas?' type of sentences.

At the end I added the dates of holidays in May. I did tell him in Jan that I'd be taking dd to some home ed camps this year, but didn't know dates yet. So this shouldn't have been a suprise and feel a month is okay notice (just confirmed booking so not like I've had it set in stone for months either).

His response:
Do me a favour, don't email me on Mondays or Tuesdays. I have 'dd' and don't want to be in a bad mood.

So..... Don't email him when I don't have a child with me, instead wait till I have to ignore her to send the email, or use my paid WORK childcare time to do it. Duh, here's a thought IDIOT just don't read your email when she's with you if you only get 22 hours a week with her. Or if you do check it, because am not saying its wrong to, just don't open email from me until she's gone home when you can over react to it all you want.

Rant over now, just had to write it somewhere that wasn't an email right back to him.

(and because I'm going out of my way to be 'reasonable' I'll do what he asks. Will write and save, then send at another time. But really, surely the point of email is we can both read and write them when its convienient to us!)