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Is this classed as reasonable contact still?

(9 Posts)
FrostyTheSnowgirl Sun 18-Jan-09 16:36:56

Hi everyone, I posted on here the other day about my exp not sticking to contact court order so I have decided to change when my ds goes there to try and resolve the matter.

His current visits on a fortnightly cycle are:
wed 1pm - 6.30pm
sat 4.30pm - sun 10am
wed 1pm - 6.30pm
sun 9am - 6pm

These hours are ok for ds (when his father decides to have him) but it means its difficult to arrange to do anything with him because every weekend is cut into 2 with ds away either sat or sun.

I would like to suggest to exp that he has ds every other weekend from sat 4.30pm til sunday 6pm and weds stay the same. He won't be losing any contact time and it cuts out an hours travelling time as well. Do you think this still sounds reasonable?

FrostyTheSnowgirl Sun 18-Jan-09 16:52:14

bump

FrostyTheSnowgirl Sun 18-Jan-09 17:09:09

anyone? im trying to pluck up the courage to text exp but wanted some opinions before i do!!!x

notevenamousie Sun 18-Jan-09 20:43:47

Sounds reasonable to me. Sounds like your ex is not the reasonable type, but it is worth suggesting - sell it as that you want him to have a proper amount of time with his dad, perhaps?

notevenamousie Sun 18-Jan-09 20:44:12

PS - not sure I'm the expert, though <sigh>

AnarchyAunt Sun 18-Jan-09 20:45:35

Sounds reasonable to me smile

But I am the reasonable type - is ex?

ChasingSquirrels Sun 18-Jan-09 20:53:01

how old is your ds?
My ex left last Mar/Apr, and at that point our boys were 5y6m and 2y3m. IMHO opinion at that point it was better for the boys to have as contact little and often (mostly because ds2 didn't really know ex and was very clingy to me).
We opted for 1 overnight in the week (5.15pm - drop off at school/CM next morning) and a 24 hr period at the weekend (4.30pm Fri - 4.30pm Sat, or similar Sat/Sun).
I now think that ds2 would be fine with alternate weekends, but have spoken to ds1 and he would rather go every week.

It IS a pain, and difficult to arrange things round, but I still think that the more contact (at this age) the better.
I would like to work towards every other weekend, bearing in mind that he still sees the every week with the weeknight) but will be led by the children in this.

FrostyTheSnowgirl Sun 18-Jan-09 22:34:10

i've spoken to him about it and im surprised that he has agreed with no argument! Totally understand what u mean cs about the little and often but my ds is 2 and has been seeing his dad (or expils) regularly since he was born and is perfectly ok with going there. I think its whatever routine they are used to thats the easiest, so I can understand why it would be harder with your older child to get him onto alternate weekends.

Its so difficult because all the worry is on us, my exp just gets on with his life while I stress about what's best for ds sad

ChasingSquirrels Sun 18-Jan-09 22:39:55

glad you have agreed it - far easier if you can agree it between you.

When I say my ds2 barely knew ex - ex works long hours (before we split) so often only saw the children at the weekend, and because ds2 was such hard work as a baby ex tended to do stuff with ds1 and I would deal with ds2.

See what you mean about the routine they know, I am going to broach it again with him in a few months.

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