After hijacking another thread, I asked the question (to myself obviously) about why a single person might want to stay as active on the internet after they find a relationship (presumably off the internet). Hopefully that makes some sense.
Some years back and when I was single in a relationship (married and unhappy), I turned to the internet for company, which worked a treat. Company when I wanted it (no sex as I was loyal) but a comfort. Then the wife had an affair, so divorce started. After the separation, I felt more relieved than sad, so the separation was for the better.
I entered the world of internet dating and met a lovely lady, after a few months of talking, we met and 6 months after, I moved to her. 18 months later, she and I separated.
Now, thinking back...... When she and I found each other, the meeting was good, exiting and interesting (in a nut shell and not my nut(s)).
While she and I had a good relationship, she was often on the internet, talking to the people she had met. Me being me, didn't raise any objection - why would I, if I did, I would see me asking her to change to something I wanted, which wasn't nessesarly what she wanted, and the start of a possible conflict.
I left it. I can't honestly say that her internet usage interfered with the "us" time, apart from the point that she and I went to bed together and after I fell asleep, she would get up again to chat on the internet and when tired, get back into bed. This getting up to chat shouldn't have been a problem, but if I woke (semi) and moved over to cuddle up, the space was empty, which woke me up. Given that I was then awake, I got up to make us a cuppa and after the cuppa, I went back to bed - alone.
The bigger question now. Does a person keep a loyalty to the internet chat friends when you accept (possibly) one of the chat friends as a potential life long partner, or do you shift your loyalty to your new found material (as opposed to virtual) person and kindle the joys of a real live relationship.
If you choose a balance, how is this balance found and maintained?
Thanks to the person who put a link up for me to start a post.
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Internet is a distraction while single - should it stay that way when you are not single?
26 replies
N1 · 13/01/2009 22:35
OP posts:
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