What should I do I keep messing it up.

[MUMDONEGOOD]

Why am I such an idiot. I let my ex partner if I can call him that keep staying with me and dd then get jealous when he rings and texts his g/f. I am ok living without him and then when he asks to move in I agree being really strong. Then the image of happy families is there obviously when convenient to him and I fall to pieces. He even wants foreplay (sorry to be blunt) with me even though he has a g/f. Obviously I let him, what is wrong with me? He was seeing this g/f even before me so I think its serious, I was just an extra. All this happened over 10 years ago. DD loves him so much I dont know what to do, and just feel like crying at the moment except they will all hear me. Helpppp.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

is your dd his child?

[MUMDONEGOOD]

yes. She adores him even though she gets a bit upset sometimes when he ignores her.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

thats really sad mdg
I know a man who has lived with his gf on/off for years she has a dd by someone else and this child sees him as her daddy even calls it him
he loves the dd alot and i think stays for her sake but in the meantimesleepssees other women myself was once one of them
what do you want or think is the right thing to do?

[MUMDONEGOOD]

Someone please help me. I dont have anyone to turn to, family just wait for me to mess up again. I am going down hill fast.

[MUMDONEGOOD]

Sorry aseriouslyblondemoment, I know he is just using me for when she isnt around, but I would rather have that than no-one at all. It scares me to think I have to do things with just me and dd. Everyone around me seems so happy and in a relationship. I dont have any friends so cant even go out I dont know what to do anymore.........................................

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

mdg i really don't know what to say other than the obvious and i do feel for you
and being in a relationship isn't everything thou possibly easy for me to say as i'm divorced but now have a BF
this site is here for us to seek out help/friendship/support or just to put a smile on
have you thought about posting on relationships?
have just been on and there are quite a few mners still about who well might have been thru what you are experiencing
I haven't been there but as i said was once involved with man like yours

[ELOB]

one of the reasons you cant find a relationship is probably because you are still part of the other relationship. what age is your d? not giving her a good role model on what makes a healthy relationship. if she sees her mum allowing herself to be treated this way she will grow up to believe that is good enough for her too and will no doubt end up in unhealthy relationships. cant you join any groups or courses just for fun, things you might be interested in learning? that way you are learning/doing something you might enjoy and have an interest in and might meet someone likewise. it will take time but its got to be 100 times more interesting than what you have with this man. if you d's dad ignores her, i dont think its good for her. no need to stop them spending time together but dont be used.

[MUMDONEGOOD]

You are all right. I have signed up for a teacher training course as I also need to get back into work, but dont want to go into an office. Hopefully not being at home all day every day may help. I think I am a bit immature sometimes and am looking for excitement instead of commitment. Will probably relapse again at some point but will try harder for not only me but dd. She is nine but is mentally so mature.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

mdg think it's brilliant that you have signed up for teacher training as it will give you a much needed confidence boost and yes getting out of the house helps too
elob is right as hard as it is you do need to be strong for your dd
you are her role model and her understanding of life and how relationships work is based on what/how you behave