...of my ex-h, of this whole situation, and I don't know what to do anymore.
He left in April after admitting he was seeing someone else, and moved straight in with her. He claimed that everything was my fault, I had controlled him for 9 years, forced him to have kids etc.... despite having never once raised that during our marriage. He turned into a different person overnight (literally) was just horrible to me for weeks on end. He saw our children (aged 2 and 3) a few times, then stopped seeing them for 16 weeks. He filed for divorce (Yes, HE did!!), so solictors got involved, and he saw the kids a few more times, and now hasn't seen them for 6 and a half weeks.
I am petrified every time the postman comes in case there is a solicitors letter. I know that sounds pathetic, but he's just pushed me to the edge. Every letter I get defends him, and gives me all these justifications for why he hasn't seen the children. I am trying to find out when he wants to see the children over Christmas, but I still haven't heard anything, meaning I can't make plans. My 3 yr old keeps asking when she is going to see him, and I have to lie to her and say that daddy is working, coz I don't want to put him down in front of her.
Both my kids have had chicken pox in the past few weeks, we now all have stinking colds, and I am just struggling to do it on my own. My 2 year old son winds up in my bed every night, which I know isn't good, but I'm so tired all the time, that I would do anything for a good night's sleep.
I just don't know what to do when I get his proposals for Christmas. I just have visions of them being ridiculous, so I say no, and then he has even more reason to blame me for everything, even though I am trying to bend over backwards to get him to see our children and accomodate him. What would be reasonable? He hasn't seen the children for 6 and a half weeks. That contact was for 2 and half hours, and followed 2 weeks of no contact. This is all his choice, by the way. It goes through solicitors, so it isn't me not allowing him to see them. He has twice refused to attend mediation, so that isn't an option.
I've just had enough, and I want it all to stop and go away.
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I've just had enough....
9 replies
kara0811 · 09/12/2008 20:38
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