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My daughter keeps getting ill and I've got the school breathing down my neck!

(7 Posts)
tetti Thu 23-Oct-08 12:25:42

I dk if this topic belongs here,but anyway..
My lil girl is in year 1,she was absent for at total of 6 wks in reception as she kept getting chestinfections(the underlying cause turned out to be undiagnosed asthma).
Then she started year 1,and has already had a week and a half off(tonsilitis and now severe gastroenteritis).

When I ring school they basically know who I am now as soon as they hear my voice-Oh,she's ill again I take it!

I just feel soo bad about it,if my lil girl's poorly I have to keep her at home.
But I feel like I am getting soo much aggro for it now,I can hear the disbelief in the voice of that person dealing with the absences at school-Oh,what has she got now?It's not good her missing out school you know..(eh well,I know!!!)
When she got her first year report it said"She is doing great at school,when she is here!(oh,ta!)

It is doing my nut,I am not keeping her home for the sake of it,she loves school and is gutted whenever she gets ill and has to stay at home.But,the school clearly seems to think that I am not doing enough to improve her attendance.
I have told them the GP has explained that I do all the right things to improve her immune system,there is nothing else that I can do,and we've had tests done that shwon there is no underlying reason for her low immune system.
She never went to nursery,so when she started school it was the first time that she was really exposed to all those bugs and viruses that goes around.
I am just fed up with the school not believing me,but I cannot send my daughter to school when she's ill either,or maybe I'll have to do that to get them to believe me???

nickytwoooohtimes Thu 23-Oct-08 12:28:15

Cheeky buggers!
It is important you keep her off when she is ill for her sake and the sake of others.
Could you have a word with her teacher about this inappropriate way you have been spoken to?

GylesBandwidth Thu 23-Oct-08 12:30:52

You are her mother, and the best judge of whether she is well enough to go to school.

Perhaps you could write a letter to the Headteacher, clearly explaining what you have said in your OP re the asthma etc, and that you do not appreciate some of the unprofessional comments made by some of the school staff.

I'm sure your doctor would write a letter too if necessary.

Bride1 Thu 23-Oct-08 12:43:47

Could go in and talk to the head? One of my friends had a similar problem with her daughter but when she went in and explained what the problem was they were very understanding.

gillybean2 Thu 23-Oct-08 13:03:30

I would suggest a meeting with the head and also ask to see the school nurse. Explain the situation fully and also explain that the comments you are receiving on the phone are not helpful and could they been a little more understanding please.

When your dd is off do you ask for details of any work (reading books etc) that you may be able to use at home to help keep her up to date? My son missed a week of school in reception year when we went to NZ to visit my parents. I asked for and got permission for this a year in advance, well before he even started school and did my best to link it into school hols to minimise the days missed.

I took 10 reading books, handwriting practise sheets, and a book to write a diary and stick in pictures etc of an ET from school who came with us. My son still got a poor attendance rating that year even though I had done my best to ensure he missed as little as possible and did lots of work while away. This was because he was only in reception for 2 terms but they didn't take that into account in the calculation! I was not pleased at being made to feel like a useless mother who kept my child out of school, so can understand your frustration and upset too.

Speak to the head, I'm sure it will get resolved once you do.

taken4granted Wed 29-Oct-08 10:33:03

tetti Im an attendance officer in a high school - My advice is that if you keep your daughter off school - take her to the doctor to cover your bum - also be proactive with school and ask for her to be referred to the school doctor via the school nurse (a paedatrician) who can also confirm your illnesses. This will cover you should (and its highly unlikely) the school decide they wish to prosecute - In my experience it is extremely hard to get a prosecution against a parent - and by being proactive and covering yourself by seeing a doctor its on record that your daughter is actually unwell - one thing though ensure your doctor says she is unfit to attend school and for what period Hope this helps.

mankyscotslass Wed 29-Oct-08 10:40:33

TBH I wouldn't stress about it. My eldest was like that in his reception year, and I am now on first name terms with the school receptionist. It became a bit of a joke, "oh no Mrs Manky, not again" as soon as they heard my voice! He had constant ear infections, tummy bugs,tonsilitis, you name it he had it!
But then in YR1 he was only absent one day in the whole school year, and so far this year not been absent at all. His immune system has kicked in, thank god. He has had colds and has a nasty post viral cough, but nothing to keep him off.
School may be getting shirty because the governement are really pushing attendance, but at the end of the day you are doing the right thing keeping your poorly daughter off, so I wouldn't worry at all!

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