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Nine months since the split - will it get easier?? Need advice. Bit of a rant too, sorry.

(2 Posts)
brodiesprime Mon 06-Oct-08 20:28:10

I separated from my husband nine months ago. We had been together for 12 years and have 3 children together, I am also 6 months pregnant (please don't try to do the calculations blush).
My exh visits the children twice a week, supports us financially but offers no other help. He also says he is staying in a relatives's spare room on the sofa but won't give me the address??
I've been finding it a struggle the last couple of weeks as I've been unwell. I asked exh if he would be willing to help a little more but he refused saying that as far as he is concerned he helps enough.
While I feel a little better about the break-up itself, my exh's behaviour has deteriorated and the contact dwindled. E.g he used to telephone to see how the children were but now rarely contacts between visits. he also does not return calls. His main method of contact (if pushed) is a one line email.
He also doesn't ask how I am re the pregnancy, my pregnancy was an accident and he didn't want the baby but it still hurts that he does not care. Although oddly he has been giving me his suggestions for the baby's name.
I am worried about this deterioration; it can only get worse I feel. I have to be careful in case he cuts off our support, but then he'll probably do that at some point anyway.
I'm not sure if I would be better or worse financially off divorcing, so have avoided.
I've also started to feel sad about the loneliness of a first Christmas alone birth of the baby etc.
Sorry, this is a long, rambling, unstructured outpouring and I think think I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself today, plus perhaps pregnancy hormones!!

Juicytots Mon 06-Oct-08 21:38:48

You poor thing, I expect you are just exhausted. I have 3 kids myself and a very supportive husband, but he works away a lot and I know how tired I get. ( and I'm not pregnant)
Sorry to suggest this, but from what you have said it sounds like he may have got someone else. Has his lack of interest in the children been a recent thing or was he like that when you were together?
Regarding Christmas, try to remember its only a day. Plan ahead now, are there friends or relatives you could spend some time with? Don't leave things till the last minute, be proactive so you don't end up on your own.
You need some support, if your exh can't/won't give it then look elsewhere.
Sorry this advice is a bit thin, I really feel for you.

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