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AIBU...new baby...

(8 Posts)
ShyBaby Sat 04-Oct-08 01:52:25

Because I did think it would be nice if his dad had bothered to tell him he had a new baby brother.

Ds hasn't seen his dad for three weeks now because their baby was due. His dad said he could stay but if his gf went into labour I must be prepared to pick ds up. Well I cant, because I cant drive and have dd to think of, he knows this. So I said we'd maybe forget it for a couple of weeks.

Exp has been very distant since. Ignoring his phonecalls etc. Finally today he answered his phone. Ds asked if the baby was here yet and his dad said "oh yeah, she had it Sunday".

Ok, I know they've been busy. But he has not been in the hospital every minute of every day. He has seen our phonecalls, would it really have been too much trouble for him to call ds back and tell him about the new baby? When I had mine my mum called all our family and friends (gave her a big list of numbers). I would have thought his dad would have called him to tell him the news, he is 11 after all.

But no. Apparently not. He is totally excluded, like their new family is none of his business.

Tinkerbel6 Sat 04-Oct-08 09:29:34

Although I do agree with you Shybaby, it could be your ex feels a bit awkward and is not wanting to rub it in your faces, its only been 6 days and I would imagine give it a few more days or so your ex will call or arrange for your son to go round there, hope you are ok about things

J2O Sat 04-Oct-08 09:47:01

of course YANBU, it would have taken him 5 minutes to ring ds.

ShyBaby Sat 04-Oct-08 13:43:36

Oh no its fine Tink. I dont think he feels awkward, after all, we have been split up for nearly 10 years and since then he's also been married and had a baby with someone else before this one!

He knows I understand ds cant really go around there and knows im ok about it. He's just thoughtless at times more like!

Ah well, we've come to expect it now grin

compo Sat 04-Oct-08 13:45:46

well I think it was really crap of him
your ds should be included and should not only have been phoned but also should have met his baby brother by now sad

Olessaty Sat 04-Oct-08 16:19:49

Mine never let me know his girlfriend had had her baby, but then I never got in touch with him when I had mine and let him know. I've learned that if I want to know anything about anything that I have got to ask.

I agree it's blooming annoying though. As a mum at this time your biggest worry is that a new baby will come along and take the place of yours, leaving them wondering what they did wrong. My ex actually told me when the new baby came along he wouldn't be able to see his son as much.

It's hard enough getting a new sibling, without feeling as though you are not welcome as a part of that family.

gillybean2 Sun 05-Oct-08 19:21:03

I think you said it all when you said you gave your mum a list of numbers and she let everyone know. Assuming this was in relation to you ds(11) then clearly his dad didn't do it at the time your mum did, so he's not going to do it now in all likelyhood...

Grandparents are desparetely happy to tell everyone the good news, new mum's tend to be busy taking care of baby, and dad's, well dad's are a law unto themselves at times like this i find with wildly different reactions.

Your ex is not going to change the way he is and always has been, and that is sad for your ds Maybe if you explained how ds was waiting to hear and is wanting to meet his new brother etc it might help. Then again only you know if it is likley to be taken on board and acted upon...

ShyBaby Sun 05-Oct-08 21:58:40

No I actually meant when I had dd (because there was no daddy around to do it).

But all the same, people wanted to know I had a new baby girl, especially ds (who had to stay with my aunt because his dad refused to have him there).

Like I wouldn't have told him for a week angry

Not even going to go into what his dad did after I had him, not something I wish to remember.

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