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Does anyone have any advise/understanding on this situation

(4 Posts)
Barbs34 Mon 28-Feb-05 10:46:54

I have an 11 month old baby who see's his Dad every Saturday and Saturday night. His dad is a good dad and copes well and loves seeing his son. All this is fine and dandy, however yesterday on picking William up he didn't want to come to me and started crying when he left his Dad, he started kicking me and generally kicking off. This was absolutely crushing for me. The situation between his Dad and I has not been great for most of the time and this has just made things harder for me to deal with. I don't know what I have done wrong for my ds to react like this. I imagined as he got older this may happen a bit, but not so soon. Has anyone else had this type of experience, if so does it pass, how do you cope etc. I feel absolutely crushed today and just can't seem to understand where I have gone wrong. Any help or reassurance would be greatly appreaciated.

Thanks

maisystar Mon 28-Feb-05 10:55:36

my ds doesn't see his father, but at about the same age as your little one he always wanted his grandma! it was just a stage that didn't last long but upsetting while it lasted. he is 4 1/2 now and given the choice would still rather play with anyone but me!!!(but when he's hurt or tired and wants a cuddle it's always me he wants )

i think perhaps when your a single parent and your ds just see's you a lot of the time anyone else seems more exciting!

i'm sure it will pass in time xxx

amynnixmum Mon 28-Feb-05 10:59:04

Don't have experience of this myself but I know my nephew behaved like this when my BIL and his wife split up a couple of years ago. She used to get really upset but ignores it if he does it now because she knows he loves her really and is happy to be with her its just that he sees less of his dad and misses him.
If this has only happened the once for you it may just be that william was in a grumpy mood and the kicking off may have had nothing really to do with you picking him up.
Also at 11 months he is at the right age to be going through seperation anxiety. My niece crys whenever either of her parents leave the room at the moment. I don't see her a lot and yet she cried when i left the room yesterday and she was sat on her mum's knee! She is 12 months.
Don't give yourself a hard time about getting things wrong. There is no 'right' way to do these things.

Bugsy2 Tue 01-Mar-05 15:00:35

Barbs34, please don't take it personally. Children go through these phases & it is nothing to worry about. Your little one is 11mths old and not capable of expressing himself properly. Maybe he was tired, over-excited, hungry, grumpy - who knows, he probably didn't.
At the end of the day, you are his mummy a role that no one else can ever take, so please, please relax and don't think about this for another moment. It has nothing to do with your behaviour toward your son.
My children see their father every 2nd wk-end and sometimes they play-up leaving me & then leaving him. They also played up for drop off & collection from their childminder, nursery & school. Never changed the fact that I am their mummy though!!!

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