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Janos Thu 25-Sep-08 20:55:47

I am just so, angry with XP today.

I've forgiven him a lot of things on the basis that he is a good father even though he was bloody awful to be with (too many issues to list here)

But sometimes, just sometimes he REALLY gets to me. And today was one of those days.

We share custody 50/50. DS is with me Sun-Wed, XP Thur-Sat

Anyway he leaves a message last night telling mhe is worried about DS and he will take him to the doctor. OK, so I do (probably over protective) mum thing of worrying and stressing about by little boy, is he OK? So I left several messages today for XP, can you let me know DS is, when he is going to docs. Nothing, not a thing all day to let me know how DS is until I send a final message.

He didn't bother taking DS to doctors. Kept him at home all day, did not bother telling nursery he wasn't coming in. So it will fall to me to sort it out as per usual

Me all day getting more and more worried.

God I know lots of you will be reading and thinking what's so bad about that you daft woman? And I KNOW there are much worse X's on here, believe me! It's difficult to explain..there is a pattern of dismissing, patronising, emotionally abusive behaviour but it's just made me AAAAARRRGGGHHH today.

In fact I was so upset I snapped at a colleague (inmmediately apologised) which is just not like me at all so I feel bad about that too....

I'm not even sure what the point of this post is but I feeling a little better for putting it all down.

God sometimes I could cheerfully strangle him. Of course I wouldn't ever but...YKWIM. Thanks for listening.

Janos Thu 25-Sep-08 20:58:18

Sorry for spelling mistakes, it alwyas goes to pot if I'm a bit pissed off and stressed!

gillybean2 Fri 26-Sep-08 08:10:59

Well of course you were worried, someone told you your child was ill and you wanted to know that he was ok. That person also happened to be a parent who spends a lot of time with your ds and therefore when they tell you they are worried it holds a lot of weight.

I think you should explain to your ex that the lack of communication left you thinking the worst given that he had expressed his concern over ds's condition and stated it was bad enough to warrant a visit to the doctor. Also explain how a simple text or phone call of reassurance would have been all you needed to stop the stress and worry. Sayi it calmly and matter of factly but make it clear that you were really concerned and that it wasn't fair to leave you not knowing and ask that in future he confirms the situation should a similar situation arise again.

lostdad Fri 26-Sep-08 08:38:54

I'd agree with Gilly. Communication between you on all relevant matters is the key - although I can tell you don't need me telling you that!

As you say, your ex is a good dad and you are a good mum.

You would have had problems from time to time had you stayed together and what's happened is just in the class of `Sh*t happens'.

Tell him what you think should happen in a similar situation next time - but at the end of the day, it comes down to judgement (i.e. normal parenting!) wink

I dream of my relationship with my ex being like yours Janos - I'm jealous. sad

Janos Fri 26-Sep-08 10:05:22

Yes, I'll try that gillybean and hopefully it will get through. XP has a habit of hearing what he wants to so whether he'll take it in I don't know - can but try though!

lostdad, I've seen quite a few of your posts and I know you're having a dreaful time with your ex.

I can only imagine what you must be going through so I do appreciate your kind and thoughtful words. Thank you. I really hope your situation is resolved and you get to see your DCs.

Janos Fri 26-Sep-08 10:06:07

Dreadful...sorry. Much more relaxed today (I have a very rare day off) but still can't spell!

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