My DD's father ended our relationship when I was four months pregnant. He told me to get an abortion and said that he was leaving because he didn't want children. When I wrote to him before her birth saying that I wanted him to be part of her life he replied by TEXT(!) to the effect that he wasn't interested. He has paid maintenance but not seen her since she was six weeks old. He has never shown any interest in her. She had surgery when she was five months old and he never even enquired as to how she was doing.
Two weeks ago, just after DD's second birthday, he texted me to ask if he could see her to give her a birthday present. There wasn't a convenient time that week and we were away the week after so I've managed to put him off without actually saying 'no'. But he contacted me again yesterday demanding 'a slot' to see her quite shirtily.
At the moment I'm thinking of suggesting that we meet in a park nearby and taking my parents along. I really don't want to see him. I really don't want him to have anything to do with my daughter. I'm terrified that he is going to want to start seeing her regularly. But I'm also worried that he is more likely to get nasty about it if I refuse him access altogether. I've spoken to the advice line at Gingerbread, but they didn't really help much. Any thoughts? Am I better off letting him see her briefly or should I force him to take it further if he really wants to see her?
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Ex may be trying to get access to DD after two years of indifference - what should I do?
11 replies
Sally4484 · 22/09/2008 12:13
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