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Can I rant please?

(10 Posts)
zmandaz Wed 10-Sep-08 21:46:36

Despite having a restraining order in place saying absolutely no contact with any of my family and my ex's appalling behaviour towards myself and LO, he has sent a package to LO via my mum including photos of him with his new partners' kids. So, he has broken the restraining order and what makes me even more mad is that despite it being HIS behaviour that has got himself into this mess, he still wants to write and let my LO know that HE is the victim in all this and show her what a good daddy he can be with someone else's kids. Is he wicked or what! Plus the fact that some other woman has listened to his side of the story and trusted him with her kids. This has really scared me as I've been hoping to meet someone but you just never know what they're really like do you?
I'm just so furious! Rant over! angry

Tinkerbel6 Thu 11-Sep-08 09:39:07

Burn it and then have a word with you mum, contact your solicitor and have it recorded what he has done, how nasty to send pics of him playing happy families with someone elses kids, unbelievable.

zmandaz Thu 11-Sep-08 18:24:53

My solicitor is going to send them all back to him. I'm going to see her next week. Thing that gets me is that I would be furious if a new partner sent pics of himself with my child to an ex. Thanks for the message, am calming down a bit now!

lardybump Thu 11-Sep-08 18:37:28

what a wanker... Did your LO see them? Tell your mum not to accept anything else in future.

squigglywig Thu 11-Sep-08 18:40:53

Does the order specify what the consequences are if he breaks it?

He sounds quite unbelievable.

zmandaz Thu 11-Sep-08 20:12:32

Thankfully LO is too young to know what's going on. My Mum wouldn't have opened it only he'd posted it to her business address and there was no way of knowing who it was from. The order says that any direct contact from either my ex or a 3rd party is a breach of the order. I don't know if they'd class it as a breach though as the contents weren't abusive (for once) but the point is he shouldn't be contacting us, period. It makes me so angry that he won't take responsibility for what he's done and plays the victim all the time. Trying to make out he's a nice, caring Daddy. And apparantly now he's above the law too. Grrr! Have been growling all day!

squigglywig Thu 11-Sep-08 20:31:22

I shall growl with you about a mighty similar state of affairs if that will make you feel any better?

Can you get the breach logged anyway? And perhaps check whether it is the contents that are important, or the breaching of the order itself?

zmandaz Thu 11-Sep-08 21:22:34

Please do growl away. It's good to let it all out sometimes, I spend most of my time trying not to let my feelings show in front of LO and convincing everyone I'm ok when I feel far from ok!
I'm going to check with my solicitor next week. The thing is I don't want to just leave it as he might think it's ok to try and contact us again. Plus like I said before, I'm sick of doing everything by the book whilst he seems to get away with everything. To me, he's brought this on himself, has made his bed and now he has to deal with the consequences. It sounds harsh but I've been through hell with him over the past 3 years and now I want to re-build my life and provide stability for LO.

squigglywig Thu 11-Sep-08 21:50:33

It is infuriating when they behave however they sodding well please and don't give a toss about how it impacts the children. I'd love to let rip and for him to know exactly what I think but I won't for dd's sake. The ability to see past their own immediate needs seems to elude people like this.

I feel for you, I reallt do. You're doing the right thing though and you have your dignity. It's a damn site more than he can say I'll wager.

zmandaz Thu 11-Sep-08 22:50:08

It is infuriating, especially when I know full well that if I did let rip and tell him what I thought about him it'd be me who got in trouble, not him. Thanks for the comments, it really helps to talk things through and at least I know it's not just me who thinks he's a nasty piece of work!

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