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help needed how do other women cope in similar situation as mine

(5 Posts)
nydoll Fri 05-Sep-08 13:16:39

my partner left me this time last year when I was three months pregnant, he started seeing a 18 year old and I am 35. I now have a beautiful daughter but I still feel so alone, I can't help feeling sorry for myself I am hundreds of miles away from my family I have no friends or any support network where I live, I do meet up occasionally with women from my antenatel group but they are all married first time mothers who talk about their lives and when they are going back to work they take their babies to swimming lessons, jungle gyms and other such things and I just feel so left out, I have no money, no job to go back to, no partner to talk about and it all just adds to my misery, I come across all loud and full of life but deep down its all getting to me. I'm sat in now watching it pee down outside wondering how to fill the day, I need a social life but don't know how to go about it as i'm not very good at doing things on my own.

Katiekins83 Fri 05-Sep-08 14:49:55

hi, im not in your situation, except for the alone bit. but i could not leave your post unanswered. i had similar thing with other people tho, couples etc, what to do to fill in the time. my advice would be to enjoy your daughter, walskt to the park, museum anything that is free, find out where mum and baby groups are in your area...ask your health visitor about this. things will get better. i also totally understand the perception of being fine and on the inside wanting to cry 24/day.
where abouts do you live, join local mumsnet and go to meetups.
take care i will keep checking your posts

xx

fransmom Fri 05-Sep-08 17:06:13

hi (((((((((((((((nydoll))))))))))))))) hows this evening? altho i left x adn wasn't pg at the time, i can understand how you're feeling. if you in sw, cat me on the link by ny posting name xxxxxx

Ewe Fri 05-Sep-08 17:09:11

nydoll - where do you live? Are you in NY?

I was left by my X when preg, got back together and then split again a couple of months ago (DD is 5.5months). Fortunately I have family around but friends are also really important.

Try Mumsnet meet-ups, there are a real mix of people on here including many in similar situations.

trumpetgirl Sat 06-Sep-08 23:55:04

I have been on my own since the start, and have no support network at all.
I think it's important to go to mother and baby groups etc to get support and advice from other mothers. Maybe some will be in a similar situation and you can help each other.
I also believe that it's important to have time to yourself and a life of your own. I haven't had a night out in 4 years, but I did join a gym that had a creche, and that did me the world of good. Now I'm 2 years into a degree at university and my dd is at school. I have friends who are "typical" students, lecturers, and other student parents.
The workload is so large that I can quite easily fill a night without feeling too lonely.
I still get depressed sometimes, and it's not all rosy, but it's better than when I was sitting on state benefits with no friends, and no prospects.
You have the capability to do anything, so decide what you want to do with your life and aim for that.
Hope things get better for you

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