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How long "should" it take to be interested in men again?

(11 Posts)
mylittlepudding Tue 02-Sep-08 20:35:38

I have been seperated for 3-4 months now. The relationship was dying for a year, IMO, but I was working on it, certainly not looking elsewhere.

My colleagues - and I love where I work because my colleagues are so friendly and supportive - are saying "get back on the horse again".

exDP was my first long term relationship. We were together 3 1/2 years and have a DD aged 1 1/2. I'm 28. I'm not sure I'm there - I am happily single with DD, don't want anything serious (tbh don't know what I want).

We have a work night out on Friday whilst DD is with ex - and am nervous. Happily flirted with someone I met through work a few days ago - and I thought I'd forgotten how! But am I being strange to say I'm just fine as I am for now? And when will any desire for a relationship come back (am accompished enough to satisfy my, um, sexual desires, myself, for the moment)

mypandasgotcrabs Tue 02-Sep-08 22:39:57

There's no set time before you 'should' be interested in 'dating' again. My mates at work kept on at me to go on this dating site & that, but I wasn't interested. It's going to be different for everyone. If you're happy as you are then fantastic.

Just go out on Friday and enjoy yourslef. grin

lou33 Tue 02-Sep-08 22:53:12

agree with mypanda

missingtheaction Tue 02-Sep-08 22:57:02

Good grief, if you are happy as you are for goodness sake keep it that way. 4 months is nothing! and if you are happy without a man life is SO much less complicated

misi Tue 02-Sep-08 22:57:58

as a bloke, I also agree with mypanda and lou. when you are ready you will know it, or will do it without thinking. as you are thinking about it, you are not really ready now. take your time, see what happens and see how you feel. don't rush anything, you have time to enjoy yourself and life so go have some fun and forget about relationships

RambleOn Tue 02-Sep-08 23:01:27

And you're only a young thing envy you've got all the time in the world

solidgoldbrass Tue 02-Sep-08 23:02:17

You'll be ready when you're ready. Trying to force yourself to date is not only rough on you but TBH is a bit harsh on anyone you do hook up with: the just-out-of-a-relationship person is often a real PITA to pull (not saying you are a PITA, just generalising a bit): bursting into tears halfway through sex, deciding after 2 great dates (when the new datee is starting to think, wow, what a fab new relationship) to get back with XPs, ranting on and on about the last relationship over what new datee hoped would be a romantic dinner....

brightwell Tue 02-Sep-08 23:05:41

It took me over 2 years....the legacy of a bad break up! Friends pushed me into dating far sooner than I wanted to, which at the time was nerve racking but did give me a much needed confidence boost.

mummyfantastico Wed 03-Sep-08 16:19:30

I'm happy being single for the moment and have been for 11 months since h walked out with his tart, i pity any bloke who would try and take me on at the moment as i am far too bitter about my xh and would probably treat them like shit!
I do love going out and having a good flirt though, my confidence is now far higher than it was when i was married.
And I have a "friend with benefits" which helps, especially as he is 7 years younger than me!grin

mocca Thu 04-Sep-08 11:27:42

I separated from my now ex-husband 18 months ago. Tried dating around 6 months after that but realised I wasn't ready and needed to concentrate on being happily single (have 8 year old daughter). It felt right to try again about 6 months ago (so a year after we split up) and this time round it felt like the right thing to do and have been in a lovely relationship for about 4 months.

So I think you will just know when you're ready, doesn't sound like you are just yet and it's very early so just have some fun socialising and spend time with your child.

RachelG Thu 04-Sep-08 11:33:38

I split with my ex 3 years ago, and I still don't feel that I can be bothered with the dating scene yet. I'm not traumatised by the break-up, just busy with DS and enjoying having custody of the remote control!

There's no time limit, go for it when you want to.

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