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This will make your blood boil!!

(19 Posts)
terrier141 Mon 01-Sep-08 09:03:15

My ex hasnt paid a penny maintanence in the 5 years since we have been separated - we have 2 kids together.
Now his new wife has sent me an email asking for ME to send money every fortnight when the kids go there so that they can afford to buy them treats and pay for days out!!!
She says SHE should not have to financially support MY kids - she has never fecking worked and he has just given up his job to avoid paying maintanence!
I am spitting feathers!!

cornsilk Mon 01-Sep-08 09:10:55

They sound like they deserve each other then!

Jackstini Mon 01-Sep-08 09:13:04

OK she sounds like a mad bint and you should not give her anything, but what are you doing about all the money HE owes your children? CSA??

petitmaman Mon 01-Sep-08 09:14:38

oooh, what DID you say to her? i would have been lost for words

cornsilk Mon 01-Sep-08 09:15:30

Perhaps you could send her a copy of the birth certificate. She is clearly not aware that he is their father.

stripeymama Mon 01-Sep-08 09:16:10

Thats outright lunacy. Maybe she shouldn't have married an unemployed waster with two children then, eh??

And Jackstini - its all very well to say CSA but have you actually had any dealings with them? In my case they have taken over three years to collect about £50 from my (working) ex.

newforold Mon 01-Sep-08 09:16:20

Send her an email back telling her you will gladly knock a fiver a fortnight off the thousands of pounds your feckless ex owes your kids.

Or alternatively you could be faux concerned and suggest that they have the kids less if they can't afford to look after them properly.

terrier141 Mon 01-Sep-08 09:19:32

Thanks for your support - im not being unreasonable then?!!!
The CSA have been involved since we split 5 years ago and have not got a penny out of him - because he keeps giving up his job - and lives with his wifes 3 kids and their new baby.
So far I have been unable to reply because I am so bloody mad - i have written a draft - but will get my friends to read it through - to check i havent missed anything!

terrier141 Mon 01-Sep-08 09:21:02

Oh - and I have also considered not sending the kids anymore - but my ds (6) actually does like his father so I feel this would be cruel - my dd (8) despises him but likes seeing her new baby half brother.

bluebell1 Mon 01-Sep-08 09:23:30

That is an absolute joke.Did you say anything to her?
I agree with newforold i would tell them to have the children less if they arent prepared to provide for them when they are in their care.
Soangry for you at the complete cheek of it.

bethoo Mon 01-Sep-08 09:23:59

i hope you told her that her partner is the one who should be paying for her financially.
i am in the reverse to you in that my (now ex) dp has yet to pay anything for our 18 month ds and i am expecting again in 5 weeks yet he would bring his dd from a previous marriage to my house and give her my food that was for my ds. i felt used as he paid diddly for my ds wiht him yet expected me to support his other kid which he paid maintenance for! i sound bitchy!

Jackstini Mon 01-Sep-08 09:48:19

No YANBU at all Terrier!
Post your reply and MNers can give their verdict on what to send.....
I also am impressed with your decision to keep sending them - must be hard doing this to keep them happy when he is such a git.

SM - I know CSA are crap just wanted to ensure she has a tangible record of the length of time she has tried to get him to contribute in case he ever tried to come back on it!

MrsSnorty Mon 01-Sep-08 10:31:12

No of course she should not have to support them - their father should. Perhaps point that out...

terrier141 Mon 01-Sep-08 10:56:04

MrsSnorty - I agree it is their FATHER that should support them - but do feel she has a cheek to say that SHE is supporting them as she doesnt work - so it is actually the tax payer that is paying - so actually ME anyway!!

terrier141 Mon 01-Sep-08 10:59:22

Sorry if that last post offended anyone - it wasnt meant to - im not one of those who thinks Im a better person because I work (its only part-time anyway). Just very very angry at this crap with my ex!

MrsSnorty Mon 01-Sep-08 11:02:13

Do you think she realises that he doesn't pay you any maintenance? Maybe he's told her it's being deducted from his benefit?
Think writing to her (when you've calmed down) is a good idea. Try to stick to the facts i.e that it's his responsibility to provide for the DCs and mention that you've never had maintenance too. Either she doesn't realise or he's convinced her that you're a millionaire or she's just bonkers.

Overmydeadbody Mon 01-Sep-08 11:05:04

Oh my GOD, I'd be fucking livid if that happened to me. What planet is this woman living on?!?!

I think you should just ignore her request. Don't even aknowledge you recieved her email, it is too lowly to require a reply.

FFS some people are complete utter wastes of space on this earth, especially father who don't support their own children!angry

mashedup Mon 01-Sep-08 11:16:15


I've been divorced 11 years and never received a penny from my exH. He's never legally worked all this time and doesn't intend to. I work and he has made nasty comments about how I seem to have loads of money.

He used to ask for money when he had my kids for the day, but he never got any, and now they hardly see him as they're grown up.

People moan about single parents but they want to take a look at the parents who don't pay for their kids.

Tinkerbel6 Mon 01-Sep-08 13:04:58

terrier I would inform her that you wasn't aware that anyone was financiallys upporting you child apart from you, and that you would gladly knock some money off the bill that your ex owes you hmm

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