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do you struggle with the responsibility of decision making, or is it just me?

(11 Posts)
onlyjoking9329 Fri 29-Aug-08 21:00:41

tell me i am not alone with this, how do you get to making decisions and then feel happy with it?

Fluffybubble Fri 29-Aug-08 21:25:03

Yes, definitely. At the moment I am trying to decide about my ds starting school full or part time...not the end of the world, but I do wish his dad would show an interest. It does feel like everything (even the smallest thing) is such a responsibility when you are on your own.

I think all that you can do is trust your own judgement. You will always have you dc's interests at heart. If we mess up most things can be undone smile. We can only do our best...

In your situation, OJ, I would think that it is still really early days. Small things may seem like massive hurdles, I guess you will have good days and bad days. Are you getting any counselling? Do you have anyone you can offload / rant / chat with?

onlyjoking9329 Fri 29-Aug-08 21:49:11

i am just not used to deciding everything myself and part of me doesn't want to.
i do still see the mac nurse and i do have a few mates that i can offload to, i just find myself putting off deciding anything cos i dont trust my judgement at the moment.

Jux Fri 29-Aug-08 21:50:19

OJ, trust yourself. You have been making decisions for a long time under appalling circumstances and your friends in rl and on mn have been behind you all the way. It's not surprising you're feeling uncertain; your life has changed hugely and most of us in your situation would question decisions made - it's human nature to wonder if you could have done better, differently, what if etc.

FWIW you have always given me the impression that you are judicious, intelligent, incredibly kind and patient, with your heart in the right place. With all those attributes, you can have faith in yourself, and you will again in time.

onlyjoking9329 Fri 29-Aug-08 22:28:14

thanks Jux, i don't feel any of those things at the moment but one day i will.

trumpetgirl Fri 29-Aug-08 22:38:12

I really struggle to make decisions, and usually go and ask someone I trust to make them for me.

However, I have found recently that:

1. I only want other people to make them for me as I want someone else to blame if it all goes horribly wrong. The thought that I may make the wrong decision really scares me.

2. I tend to ask the opinion of someone that I am pretty sure will give me the answer I want to hear... so doesn't that mean that essentially I've made the decision already, and just want someone else to confirm it is the right way to go?

Anyway, I'm getting there and I'm sure you will to. You just have to have a bit of confidence in yourself. What's the worst that could happen? And even if something turns out to be a wrong choice, it must have been the right one at the time, otherwise you wouldn't have done it.

AvenaLife Fri 29-Aug-08 22:40:32

It's a problem when you don't have anyone to mull things over with. I am always second guessing myself and wondering if I'm doing the right thing, hence 99% of my threads on here! blush

Just a case of trial and error and trusting your instincts.

Yorkiegirl Fri 29-Aug-08 22:43:21

Message withdrawn

onlyjoking9329 Fri 29-Aug-08 23:05:14

That sounds a bit like me trumpetgirl, i think its just needing that second opinion that is not so easily aavailable.
i question everything i do and put things off rather than decide.
i think thats it yorkiegirl i am protesting about it cos i don't want to have to do it.
protesting ain't gonna get me anywhere thou.

flyinglizzards Fri 29-Aug-08 23:08:44

Its a tough one Oj, but you have your children to offer young words of wisdom and sometimes there simply views on life make all the large choices and decisions look very easy, go with it sometimes.

Yorkiegirl Fri 29-Aug-08 23:46:44

Message withdrawn

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