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Picture of ex and gf has broken me completely now

(14 Posts)
MUMDONEGOOD Fri 29-Aug-08 03:11:59

Hi is anyone there?? My dd has seen picture of ex with girlfriend at his mums. Told by his neice that his is girlfriend, told by her aunty friend who is a girl. I am now completely broken and don't know how to keep going. I thought after I asked him to leave he would go to mum but he hasnt. Looks like from my bed he has gone to ex's gf's bed. Looks like this is the same gf that was around when I got together with him. He told me they were just friends. What has the last ten years of my life been about. Can I go on?

nush32 Fri 29-Aug-08 09:44:48

aww darling. Don't know what to say! I know it all seems rubbish right now. Try not to focus on it too much. I promise you will feel better. It's always hard when an ex has moved on quicker than you have. And, no disrespect to any blokes out there, but men are really quite fickle and they really need us more than we need them so tend to jump into relationships quickly. It's easy for him to go back to the ex! You will feel better. Promise. Chin up old girl!

MotherOfGirls Fri 29-Aug-08 10:53:10

Sorry you are suffering.

It strikes me that this proves you were right to ask him to leave. He isn't worthy of you and you are so much better off making a life without him.

I hope you feel better this morning. I read that there is a hormone which our bodies release durnig the night, which helps us sleep, but also acts as a depressant. Consequently, things look much worse when we fret about them in the small hours. Knowing this has helped me as I try to remind myself it will look better in the morning and it usually does.

Thinking of you and hoping things improve.

Paulita73 Fri 29-Aug-08 12:10:09


Just joined Mumsnet today and saw yr message. I am to be a mum in Oct but am am single.
At the end of the day he sounds quite insecure and shallow if he cant spend any time on his own and has to fall back on someone else so quickly. Not all, but alot of men will lie to get themselves out of a difficult situation.

Take care and keep positive. Each time you think of him and want to break down do something else!! He is not worth it!!!!

Hope things get better quickly

CuckooSplodgeandTubs Fri 29-Aug-08 20:16:36

I know it's really hard, but I hope that this means you start to move on a bit quicker than if you'd been harbouring hopes about getting back to gether, and he'd been letting you think that.

Take care of yourself. He doesn't sound all that great. Being single isn't so bad when you're happy again, honestly, and the happiness will come back.

MUMDONEGOOD Sat 30-Aug-08 10:34:00

Thanks for all your support, really needed it. Went to a councellor yesterday she told me I need to build up my confidence and self esteem. Ex has texted me to say has given my mobile number to his gf and others so that if I contact them they will have me for harrasement as they are middle class and wont stand being harrassed. I havent done anything. Said he told them because I mentioned gf's name.

Tinkerbel6 Sat 30-Aug-08 11:08:12

mumdonegood tell her you are glad to have got rid of him so there won't be wasting any of your credit grin

ThatBigGermanPrison Sat 30-Aug-08 11:11:46

"Middle class and won't stand for being harrassed"

YOu are SO well shot of this twat.

daisyj Sat 30-Aug-08 11:27:53

mumdonegood, sorry you're having a bad time. I couldn't help responding when I saw 'they are middle class and won't stand for being harrassed'. WTF!? That is a deeply weird thing for him to say. Do working-class/upper-class people like being harassed then? Don't know the history here, of course, but he sounds paranoid. He's harassing you, frankly, if he's giving your number out to people. Good for you seeing a counsellor, and I really hope you feel brighter soon.


nush32 Sat 30-Aug-08 13:18:41

Seems to me he's the one harrassing you, by giving your number out! He's an idiot.

CuckooSplodgeandTubs Sat 30-Aug-08 13:26:59

ha ha that middle class people don't harrass. I wish my x had known that.

It's really hard to detach your own psyche, sense of self, from the opinions of your ex, but eventually, his ludicrous opinions will be of no more consequence to you than your neighbour's cousin's plumber's step-father's colleague's!!!

CuckooSplodgeandTubs Sat 30-Aug-08 13:28:09

PS yes, I agree with TBGP, he sounds several metres up his own middle-class arse, and very comfortable there too.

MUMDONEGOOD Sat 30-Aug-08 13:28:24

Thanks for all your support. Still question question everything he does. Doing my head in. Daisyj, I think he said what he did because he wants me to know he's done well for himself. Not sure why though. His car was falling apart and I paid for it to be serviced. If she is middle class surely she would have the money to pay to get the car sorted out. He cant open the window on his side but wears very expensive watches.

CuckooSplodgeandTubs Sat 30-Aug-08 13:35:01

Years ago, when I went to see a counsellor, they talked to me about how when we've been part of a couple, our whole self-worth and what we think of ourselves is so bound up with what the other half thinks.

They may be an utter wanker, but it takes a while for the dust to settle and for us to see it.

I know it's hard, but never mind about his girlfriend. Pity her. You are free from this callous man now (who also sounds a bit dramatic and pompous). Your life is on the up. You may feel really, really, really low now. But if you could fast forward your life a year and take a glimpse, I'm sure you would feel relief, freedom, optimism.

The hardest part is getting through the next 365 days of daily routine to GET to that point where you realise, oh my GOD! I am happy again!

So for now, focus on the small things you always enjoy doing, relationship or no relationship! Cup of tea and reading the paper?? Jog 'round the park? The endorphins released are very GOOD natural anti-depressants. Pushing yourself physcially can really make you feel strong mentally. it's how I've coped with a lot of sh1t and anger myself.

Good luck.

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